I always know that, i am not a good friend.. because i am such a nerd.. perhaps the best word to describe me is that.. because it is like all i can help, basically deal with academic works, other than that, it seems as if i can help in nothing, i am such a bore, i dont go to karaeokes.. i know, normally my excuse will be parents are strict and that i am not allowed to go, but deep down in my heart, well, maybe upbringing does play a part in it, i dunno... i know that personally, i do not like to go to such places, i guess conservative can be used to describe me as well, i am sorry my dear friends.. i am such a boring person..
so little time left for me, i am so going to be a working woman starting next monday, talk about a boring person, thats what i am looking forward to do.. i dont really like days like what i am having now despite it is entertaining.. but i felt really useless。。。 sigh... i guess i am the typical all work no play make jack a dull boy, and ling kim a dull girl... this is the fact..
but this is me.. i do not like to be others which i myself is not.. that is so fake.. i am me, the strict and serious yet shopaholic .. this is me.. and i am not shy about it.. although i know, for this bored person of me.. i am totally useless for my darling friends.. especially for my dear sisters whom i love from deep inside my heart
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
i should stop being upset!!!
After a long long wait, finally got my results today. All these time, i had hope to aim high, since this is the last ever exam i face in university, i was hoping for first class so desperately, although i know if i really got it, it will be a wonderful miracle that ever happen in my life, it can be describe as a self actualisation, but getting what i own now is not too bad, well, although it is not like what i had hope, but second upper is not too bad..
Always thought that i will never go back to uni again, but i did today, and realised that i really miss the lake a lot, where i used to jog and distress.. I thought that i will be meeting jason today, my personal tutor, and he will babble a lot, but much to my surprise, jason is not around and i was told to collect my results from chew ging, the director of undergraduate studies, i had been so relaxed since last night, but when i reach that door, and there was someone else inside, i became so nervous, as it will be the main point that shows whether i belongs to first class or second upper.
When i enter, i was so amused that the first question he post to me was, our pictures in facebook, he said he was laughing away and cannot believe his eyes, then i answered him that since we are only young once, just take the opportunity to be perasan as when we grew older, i dont think there will be another chance, just like i always tell others, if you dont make yourself pretty now while you are young, do we still have another chance to turn back time? exclude plastic surgery please, because i never believe in fake beauty.
I was disappointed and had expected such consequence when he told me it was a second upper, but he did mention that he was quite disappointed with us, and added that i am actually at the margin, they tried negotiate for me with UK for a first class.. unfortunely, it was not allowed, because first class is 68% and i got 67.3%, that 0.7% that change the ending.. i was so upset as i know that i had work so hard, i am quite a lazy pig when it comes to sleeping, and i have cut so much for the sake of exams... 5 hours a day, well, at least i did not do too bad.. mom knows how upset i really am, of course, from my effort, the whole semester where i did not watch movie at all, and my entertainment is only jogging and occassionally, designing.. cut off the time i spent for basic everyday activities, the rest of the time had been used for studying.. well, at least i did not move backwards, thats the point.. but i cant help it, just for today, let me be upset and moan for my result.. i got sensitive a little when others told me not to be upset, i cant help but to shed some tears.. never mind, its all over and done with.. at least i know, i worked hard, so i shall not have any regrets at all..
never mind.. i just need to aim to the future now.. 12+ days from now, i will be in office and a new beginning have arrived.. so i ought to be positive again and face my future.. i can do it for sure!! but for these two days.. i need to recover.. and i guess it have to be retail therapy.. not really buy things but walk around or window shopping is enuf..
Always thought that i will never go back to uni again, but i did today, and realised that i really miss the lake a lot, where i used to jog and distress.. I thought that i will be meeting jason today, my personal tutor, and he will babble a lot, but much to my surprise, jason is not around and i was told to collect my results from chew ging, the director of undergraduate studies, i had been so relaxed since last night, but when i reach that door, and there was someone else inside, i became so nervous, as it will be the main point that shows whether i belongs to first class or second upper.
When i enter, i was so amused that the first question he post to me was, our pictures in facebook, he said he was laughing away and cannot believe his eyes, then i answered him that since we are only young once, just take the opportunity to be perasan as when we grew older, i dont think there will be another chance, just like i always tell others, if you dont make yourself pretty now while you are young, do we still have another chance to turn back time? exclude plastic surgery please, because i never believe in fake beauty.
I was disappointed and had expected such consequence when he told me it was a second upper, but he did mention that he was quite disappointed with us, and added that i am actually at the margin, they tried negotiate for me with UK for a first class.. unfortunely, it was not allowed, because first class is 68% and i got 67.3%, that 0.7% that change the ending.. i was so upset as i know that i had work so hard, i am quite a lazy pig when it comes to sleeping, and i have cut so much for the sake of exams... 5 hours a day, well, at least i did not do too bad.. mom knows how upset i really am, of course, from my effort, the whole semester where i did not watch movie at all, and my entertainment is only jogging and occassionally, designing.. cut off the time i spent for basic everyday activities, the rest of the time had been used for studying.. well, at least i did not move backwards, thats the point.. but i cant help it, just for today, let me be upset and moan for my result.. i got sensitive a little when others told me not to be upset, i cant help but to shed some tears.. never mind, its all over and done with.. at least i know, i worked hard, so i shall not have any regrets at all..
never mind.. i just need to aim to the future now.. 12+ days from now, i will be in office and a new beginning have arrived.. so i ought to be positive again and face my future.. i can do it for sure!! but for these two days.. i need to recover.. and i guess it have to be retail therapy.. not really buy things but walk around or window shopping is enuf..
Monday, June 8, 2009
i miss you my darlings
28 days.. thats all i have left as a useless person.. i dunno whether to say i should be happy or sad.. well to be honest, i am quite excited because i am moving on into the growing up phase.. but quite sad when i think that my student life had thus ended.. and i miss my sisters with all my heart.. been 2 weeks since i last see them... yes, we are tied together through the heart, but when i think that i no longer get to meet them everyday, i am quite sad about it. i wont say that i regret, because i myself hate regrets most of all.. i believe that we must make the best decisions in life, so that we wont have regrets.. but when i think of my days spent in uni basically are studying and i fail to accompany my darling sisters-alike friends often, i cant help but to feel a little upset about it..
i remember, PPC started off as only yingwen, kar yee and me.. then it expand to 7 members, now 15, but only 8 are really close and well tied together, and i miss all of you really. I know that i have not been a good friend all this while, i have failed my duty as i always seem to give priority to my studies.. i am too quiet and sometimes anti-social, but all of you are alive in my heart, forever and ever... miss those days we had together, we spent those days study hard and play hard, miss those days we used to eat pan mee together..miss those days when nc kacau me, and all of us gather to kepo together.. thats why although i have a limited budget, i dont care, just spend it for the studio picture, its a once in a lifetime issue and i really cherish it.. the pics will serve as a wonderful youth memory for me, of my greatest sisters ever.. i know i never been a good friend enough to all of you, but now, i really miss all of you desperately.. hope we can meet up soon, love you all to bits.. my darlings..
a pic to honor all of us.. we rocks~~ forever and ever.. love all of you to bits..
i remember, PPC started off as only yingwen, kar yee and me.. then it expand to 7 members, now 15, but only 8 are really close and well tied together, and i miss all of you really. I know that i have not been a good friend all this while, i have failed my duty as i always seem to give priority to my studies.. i am too quiet and sometimes anti-social, but all of you are alive in my heart, forever and ever... miss those days we had together, we spent those days study hard and play hard, miss those days we used to eat pan mee together..miss those days when nc kacau me, and all of us gather to kepo together.. thats why although i have a limited budget, i dont care, just spend it for the studio picture, its a once in a lifetime issue and i really cherish it.. the pics will serve as a wonderful youth memory for me, of my greatest sisters ever.. i know i never been a good friend enough to all of you, but now, i really miss all of you desperately.. hope we can meet up soon, love you all to bits.. my darlings..
a pic to honor all of us.. we rocks~~ forever and ever.. love all of you to bits..
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
dearest friends
It had been such a long journey in life... but i think the most memorable periods will definitely be high school and university days... i know, this may seem a bit unfair to the previous periods.. but really.. these were the days i really cherish with all my heart.. i still remember, people were shocked when i first appeal for art stream in form 4, yeah, i do not deny that my PMR is really bad and that contribute to one of the reasons of the appeal, but the main reason is that my skin is allergic to some chemicals.. i do not know why.. even chemicals as mild as ammonia.. which is shocking.. but my days in high school were memorable, not just because my results are better and teachers start to notice me, but it is because that was the first time i mixed with the so-called bad students of the school as labled by phoon phooi lan, a supervisor i still dislike up to now despite she retired long ago... i really want to tell her, i find people in these classes more pleasant to be with.. because their friendship are unconditional, their respect for others are unconditional.. unlike certain students in better classes that insist on being friends with people who are better than them so that they can obtain mutual benefits from such friends..
i still remember that rainy, dark and cold morning in form 4, when teacher was absent, we played ghost house and despite me being the most boring person in class, i do not deny that i have had great fun.. although that was the first time we have gotten a bad reputation, since we were considered as an obedient class from the beginning... but i still miss u guys although it had been so long.. and we have a comic drawn up for ourselves~
Then after that, i met the bestest sisters of my life.. initially, this gang start off small, only ying wen, kar yee and me.. then it grown to 7, after ying wen left, add in clara, teng teng, pei hui, nai cin, seraph... but after that, pei hui and kar yee left as well.. but as we proceed to UG, our gang expand further.. add in siew kwan, ruo mei, giang .. we make the best sisters in the world... i will add another blog post later this to evaluate this .. us sisters.. the best in the world and one of a kind.. love you gals to bits~~~ =p
i still remember that rainy, dark and cold morning in form 4, when teacher was absent, we played ghost house and despite me being the most boring person in class, i do not deny that i have had great fun.. although that was the first time we have gotten a bad reputation, since we were considered as an obedient class from the beginning... but i still miss u guys although it had been so long.. and we have a comic drawn up for ourselves~
Then after that, i met the bestest sisters of my life.. initially, this gang start off small, only ying wen, kar yee and me.. then it grown to 7, after ying wen left, add in clara, teng teng, pei hui, nai cin, seraph... but after that, pei hui and kar yee left as well.. but as we proceed to UG, our gang expand further.. add in siew kwan, ruo mei, giang .. we make the best sisters in the world... i will add another blog post later this to evaluate this .. us sisters.. the best in the world and one of a kind.. love you gals to bits~~~ =p
when you realised that time just wont wait for you
That is really what i do when there is really nothing to do.. thoughts and thoughts, add in some imagination, because we are growing up and our thinking changes almost every second of the day... such fluctutating moments... but it just wont slow down nor will it speed up, it may seem like yesterday when it happens long long ago... because in a blink of an eye, we grew up... but during periods when it is supposed to be torturing.. time seem to move so slowly~
been to many places today, seen many people... saw my high school classmate from far... gosh~ you really have become so cute ching han... then when i was in bangsar village, i saw eduard bomhoff eating in chocolate~ he seem to enjoy his dinner.. but it just feels weird to see him, considered as a VVIP to eat alone.. and in a place i thought meant for sweet tooths too.. never mind.. rumours sparks around had said that he is a sweet tooth anyway... maybe he really is after all... haha.. still, seeing a former DPM of Netherlands eating in such a place does not feels right.. thats why, we are ourselves, we are unique and special and there could never be another one in this world 100% similar as ourselves, we are a part of this world and without us, how can the world exist.. quoted from the law of attraction..
one year ago on this day, was the first day i worked and arrived at KPMG.. one year later, i am having fun and enjoying myself.. while jacqueline is back for medical check-up.. arghh~~ its my turn on friday.. hope i wont pengsan in front of the doctor there.. as i never like the sight of blood by all means.. heh heh.. only now, i am to wait for next month, on the 6th, when jacq and i will return as tax cosulting assistants.. hope can manage the second time round.. i really dont want to start off as an idiotic nerd again...
i know, as we grow up, we are bound to more and more ugliness of this world, like black ribbons tying us, and we struggle to release it, release ourselves in this world, but we cant, thats why some gifted people used to say they have the third eye ability when they were little, but lose it as they grew older because they are no longer innocent and pure, we do have bad and selfish thoughts sometimes and we have to control it, so that we will not cause harm to others.. i know mine, how when i am too engrossed in work, i tend to be so cool that it is scary as i will not talk.. unless to people i think is worth it... which is bad...
i am not afraid to admit my own mistakes, come on, i am human.. i am bound to make mistakes.. just be daring to fail and you will meet success.. because, failure is the mother of success.. we have to go through all these in life, unless we are really born lucky.. which if you say you never have an obstacle in life, it is totally impossible and i do not believe, why, even the richest people on earth have worries.. thats why they hire bodyguards precisely.. never be afraid to show your weakness.. if not, lessons will never be learnt, i myself used to be afraid too.. so scared that i hide myself away.. but a bud will never blossom if it dont bother to try.. so go ahead.. dont be afraid of getting underestimate by others.. to be laughed by others, to be deemed as silly and weak by others.. we learnt life through obstacles.. my friend, if you are reading this, be sure to understand that i dont mean that you are weak.. to me, you are one of the most respected person in my life.. independent and strong.. i really look up on you.. there is no need to envy me.. because you always is the friend i envy and respect and love... just show the real you to this world.. time wait for no one.. just be yourself and think from the positive side.. you will be surprised that life is actually how you want it to be.. you shape it yourself... all the best to you my dearest friend...
i miss my friends~~~ hope they all are well~~ =)
been to many places today, seen many people... saw my high school classmate from far... gosh~ you really have become so cute ching han... then when i was in bangsar village, i saw eduard bomhoff eating in chocolate~ he seem to enjoy his dinner.. but it just feels weird to see him, considered as a VVIP to eat alone.. and in a place i thought meant for sweet tooths too.. never mind.. rumours sparks around had said that he is a sweet tooth anyway... maybe he really is after all... haha.. still, seeing a former DPM of Netherlands eating in such a place does not feels right.. thats why, we are ourselves, we are unique and special and there could never be another one in this world 100% similar as ourselves, we are a part of this world and without us, how can the world exist.. quoted from the law of attraction..
one year ago on this day, was the first day i worked and arrived at KPMG.. one year later, i am having fun and enjoying myself.. while jacqueline is back for medical check-up.. arghh~~ its my turn on friday.. hope i wont pengsan in front of the doctor there.. as i never like the sight of blood by all means.. heh heh.. only now, i am to wait for next month, on the 6th, when jacq and i will return as tax cosulting assistants.. hope can manage the second time round.. i really dont want to start off as an idiotic nerd again...
i know, as we grow up, we are bound to more and more ugliness of this world, like black ribbons tying us, and we struggle to release it, release ourselves in this world, but we cant, thats why some gifted people used to say they have the third eye ability when they were little, but lose it as they grew older because they are no longer innocent and pure, we do have bad and selfish thoughts sometimes and we have to control it, so that we will not cause harm to others.. i know mine, how when i am too engrossed in work, i tend to be so cool that it is scary as i will not talk.. unless to people i think is worth it... which is bad...
i am not afraid to admit my own mistakes, come on, i am human.. i am bound to make mistakes.. just be daring to fail and you will meet success.. because, failure is the mother of success.. we have to go through all these in life, unless we are really born lucky.. which if you say you never have an obstacle in life, it is totally impossible and i do not believe, why, even the richest people on earth have worries.. thats why they hire bodyguards precisely.. never be afraid to show your weakness.. if not, lessons will never be learnt, i myself used to be afraid too.. so scared that i hide myself away.. but a bud will never blossom if it dont bother to try.. so go ahead.. dont be afraid of getting underestimate by others.. to be laughed by others, to be deemed as silly and weak by others.. we learnt life through obstacles.. my friend, if you are reading this, be sure to understand that i dont mean that you are weak.. to me, you are one of the most respected person in my life.. independent and strong.. i really look up on you.. there is no need to envy me.. because you always is the friend i envy and respect and love... just show the real you to this world.. time wait for no one.. just be yourself and think from the positive side.. you will be surprised that life is actually how you want it to be.. you shape it yourself... all the best to you my dearest friend...
i miss my friends~~~ hope they all are well~~ =)
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