days have to go on.. still..

It had been a week since i started work, in which i spent some days feeling depressed... and very blur and blue.. i know that after a long time, it is similar as the first time you started work as an intern.. being blur is a very normal thing.. and i believe close friends will understand my reason for feeling blue.. i spent a whole year during my final year in university thinking of corporate tax department, as i really miss it.. some people may think i work for work last year, yeah well, maybe the first two weeks yes.. but the rest of the days.. i worked with burning passion, how i remembered the workaholic me.. the phrase my former senior describe me as.. crazy.. haha..

everything takes time, i know that very well.. since i am not a genius.. but i am a hard-worker, thats all.. i am willing to invest myself in something i like for future sake, i am willing to commit myself.. for life on something i love.. i always thought that, going back will make me happy and full again.. but the shock i received when i first go up really give me the shock of my life.. at first i really felt it, like a sense of betrayal.. really really upset about it.. but hey, whats the use? i am young and raw.. i ought to try others right? but somehow i have to admit something.. i remembered my first day there last year, i was told to do cp204a letter, i cannot understand it.. and people in cptx 3 seem more willing to lend a hand alright.. i dislike giving trouble to others although i admit i am very good at it when i am not familiar with something.. ish~

but one thing is different.. my senior here is by far more friendly and easy to communicate with.. which is quite a shock due to our age gaps.. my former senior is still there, and just as any peak season.. she does seem stress.. but less compared to last year.. which is good.. in the past i was silly enough pinning for her.. she is not a friendly person unless one really knows her well.. then she will turn talkative.. but somehow i missed being bullied by her.. my current senior is very nice.. and easy to talk to.. she love to laugh.. but sometimes, it is not just human relationships.. i prefer to compare on work tasks.. maybe i am more a challenging person than i thought i am supposed to be.. every job do have their sweetness and bitterness.. but corporate tax is by far more challenging.. how i hope i can request to return one day.. if i cant, maybe next year i have to leave?! i dunno yet.. but i love this company and i do not hope to leave it.. but an individual should not stay on like that forever.. i am young and i ought to chase and pursuit my dreams.. why let others control? no way... lingkim lee is downright a workaholic alright, but on things she favor.. i do not hate personal tax.. and maybe now i am learning to like it.. but how i miss corporate tax.. a lot.. but days still have to go on right? i must accept it, but with hope and sincerity, i pray each day hoping for miracle to happen, i want corporate tax more than anything...

days passes with fun and happiness when my current senior is here.. because she is a very jolly lady.. cheerful as well.. but the last two days without her, i do feel so lost.. like when my ex-senior was absent on the 2nd day i was in office.. 3rd june 2008.. i absolutely have no clue what to do... but because i am still missing my days from last year, so i was so blue in the last 2 days.. i know my current senior want to cheer me up.. so normally i will just smile.. sometimes i do laugh.. telling myself, lingkim lee must continue her role as a good performer, so far she had not disappoint herself ever since she is 16.. she will not do so now.. she hate regrets above anything else... thats what she will turn her back on.. she wants everyone to think she have the ability although some people tend to benchmark her against her two genius sisters.. i ought to be like a roach, or a grass blade... small yet strong willed..

i will continue to work hard alright.. to earn my keep.. to shine in wherever i am .. perhaps being positive will help me attain whatever i want.. the law of attraction and hado effect does apply after all.. my future is in my own hands.. i create it and held it.. maybe now i am not given the opportunity.. but some time soon in the near future.. i will get hold of it.. the weed, although covered by layers of others.. have the ability to fight for sunlight for its photosynthesis process.. i believe i too.. have the ability to perform well in whatever i do.. everything takes time after all..