Recap 2009...

it is now 3.27pm on 31 dec 2009.. in another 13 minutes.. i can declare the surprise that changed my life.. is a year old.. that day, 3.40pm on 31 dec 2008.. i received a call from KPMG that offer me a job in the department i have loved.. i still remember, i was so excited and shocked to receive that call.. i was in the middle studying for my south east asia and the global economy subject and i got so stunned that i cannot continue at all.. i was so excited!! and then thats how i ended a beautiful challenging year of 2008 and begin an even more challenging year of 2009..

january 2009 - exams i will never forget because i guess that is the exam i really invest the entire of my effort in.. and i got what i wanted in return.. in february.. it is also the last time when i declare an end to my war with one of my besties.. march turned out to be quieter.. because we are busy with our financial analysis project as well as corporate finance.. and that is our final semester in university, thus we cherished it to the fullest.. but one thing i really did almost every evening and now i missed it so.. my walks by the lake during evenings.. which earn me the nickname of lake girl.. i really love those evenings and normally in my mind.. i kept my memories during internship and review them in my mind over and over again while i was walking..

april 2009 was an interesting month.. on the 4th, which is the morning for our annual dinner, we went for studio shoot!! i had loads of fun.. although it was really tiring.. but it is worth it because all the pics, i still keep it as a part of the memories i will cherish, now and forever.. even now, it is at the desktop of my computer in office and many people, including my boss asked me about it.. yeah, these are memories i loved and the annual dinner, well.. this year was quite good actually.. and as if it have not been enough during the day, we further take more pics at night.. lolz...

may 2009... our finals.. which we have gotten the result during late june.. was the first real disappointment of the year and one of the greatest in my life.. my results was not bad.. but after such effort into it for the sake of first class... i was close enough.. just 0.2% behind which the university refused to give me,, should there be no mark down on my advertising, i would hava made it.. such a waste..

july 2009.. my second disappointment in life.. i have been looking forward to coming back ot KPMG so much, wanted corporate tax from the beginning.. then on the first day i came up.. i was told that the department was full and transfer me without giving me any choice.. to be with IES.. i have no choice but to agree.. for 2 months, i was very reluctant to work well.. it is not done on purpose.. but i was very hurt and felt betrayed.. and i really dislike this department then.. i was fighting against my own dignity, wish and soul.. it took a long time, but at least i get to overcome it..

then fatimah, who came in the same time as me but supposingly should be placed with IES itself, resigned.. while i proceed.. i tried to request to transfer back... but it was not successful.. so i made my life here.. slowly i get to like it.. made new friends but still.. did not forget my former ones.. i guessed i have gotten a bit mature since then.. because suddenly i realised.. as long as i am a good performer no matter where i am.. they will try not to lose me, as with amelia.. they rather lose her in the department rather than out from the company.. i want to be the same.. and i believe i will..

slowly, i realised that being in this department allow me to learn more than i ever expect it will.. now it have become part of my life.. i decided to stay here for maybe 2 years, or 3.. then i will transfer back to where i am supposed to be.. i realised i get to learn a lot that way.. if i have stayed in my old department.. all i learn is only corporate tax while in here.. i learn about individual, partnership and management of estate as well as a bit of advisory, perhaps i can stay longer and master all of it then i will go back.. it will do me nothing but good, i learn more and know more and perhaps.. my being in this department is somehow a blessing in disguise.. i learn more and i trust that it is somehow good for my future..

2010 starts tomorrow and i hope that it will be a better, smoother year, well, i know that after chinese new year, it is going to be a great year because the year of the tiger brings good luck to the rabbit, which is me.. hence.. happy new year all.. and i hope next year will be better than this year.. and i wish for happiness and success for all.. as well as may all dreams will come true.. and always gambate in whatever we do... =)

merry x mas..

wow.. cant believe that i am now in the middle of my annual leaves.. something i do not think will happen to me enough.. haha.. maybe i am really a workaholic.. now, even when i am having this long enough and very blessed leave for a duration of 2 weeks.. i cant really let myself slow down and be lazy.. i actually start studying for my CPA.. i know that actually, i am kind of like cheating because i am not supposed to get the notes.. but i borrowed it.. thanks so much Dylan!! but what to do, if i dont study now, when i get the notes in feb, i dont even have enough time to study.. because it will be peak period then.. and i guess i will have to stay late most of the time.. sigh~~~

x mas came and went.. and thanks for the presents which i received.. i dunno how many are there on my tray in office.. =p.. but thanks loads for the wallet, shirt, and dinner bag which i have gotten from my sisters.. and also.. thanks a lot to mom for the x mas eve and x mas day dinner.. really.. i think it is enough to pig me up.. now, really fat is in the fire!! i need something to cool it.. =)

but i really am kind of pissed by my elder sister's friend.. he is a guy and damn him.. so what if you are now in the middle management level of accenture and hold the salary of 6000 a month? whats the use of having a good looking face and flirtatious personality that many girls are attracted to? he do not even know how to be a good friend.. my sister is going to Taiwan this coming wednesday for a week.. and initially, he planned to fetch her to his home and they will departure together in a cab.. to LCCT.. and now, he changed plans and no further notification is given.. then he tell her that he have to work until 3AM that day and will go home to grab a 2 hours sleep before his dad will send him to LCCT.. and he told my sis to go alone.. or find her own transport.. come on.. she is a woman.. how to go on a cab alone 6AM in the morning? how would he feel if someone ask his precious little sister to do that?

my sis hinted him that she might give it up if there is no transport.. a normal guy will probably apologise, but not him.. instead he, like a girl, said dont be like that la.. just because i cant fetch you then you dont want to go.. ask him to f*** off man.. a totally useless banana who initiate the trip and do nothing on the planning.. totally useless man.. even if he become partner of accenture.. he will never gain my respect.. i look down upon him, despite i know he is a very smart guy (who, surprisingly, cant speak good english) who got a first class in mechanical engineering from Notts.. but no way.. he will never gain my respect at all..

ish.. pissed..

Passion

I guess, my ability might be beyond what i known about myself... 5 months ago or so, i was complaining about everything and anything about my job.. maybe, it is just a matter of not getting used to.. yet... i always knew, deep in my heart, i love the company, very much, from the time i entered as an intern, went back to university to do my final year degree (which is also the best year of my university life), and back to here as a tax consulting assistant, KPMG have never been away from my heart.. but i have never thought that i really love the company to that extent.

Yesterday, attended the annual dinner of the company, which is also the first annual dinner event i ever attend.. proving that i am no longer a university student.. i am a working lady.. time really flies.. yes, i still miss my university sisters a lot, and yet, we have to move on with our lives regardless what.. but, they will always be a part of my life, my heart, my soul.. but i have to say one thing.. wow.. now i really realise that difference between an annual dinner organised by a large company and a university.. in university, the organisers are normally inexperienced, but a company's annual dinner is organised by very experienced people, the programmes are just wonderful and interesting.. i felt like i do not want to leave.. but i have to else my mom will start nagging my head off..

when the managing partner start giving his speech, i was touched and actually felt like crying a bit.. because of the current economy situation, they actually thought of putting off the annual event.. because of the high costs that will be incurred.. but to appreciate the effort of us employees, the finally decided not to.. and how he describe it as we are a family.. i wanna shed some tears.. because i do not deny it.. i made this place home from last year, although now i am not in where i want to be.. although i am so very unwilling from the beginning i entered this department, but eventually got used to it.. and i think my performance so far is okay.. at least, i know i did not let myself down so far... and i hope, my performance so far is also okay to my senior, managers and partners.. maybe it is .. if not, why out of the blue even CPTX's partners started noticing me also (or is it that i think too much??)..

maybe, this is a prove that no matter what i do, regardless how unwilling i used to be.. i can do whatever i want as i can develop passion in whatever i do, which i think to me, it is not a difficult thing.. clients start to call and look for me now.. which now i really felt the effect of not having an extension of my own is a headache.. maybe i ought to apply for one.. but never rely on my department's secretary man.. she wont give a damn on it..

hu... thanks to dylan.. now i can start studying early.. hope i can do well in the CPA!! =p

what happened to aggressiveness?

Got a facebook message from one of my bestest buddies this week.. and understand her situation.. i respect her ability to be independent.. because i think it is important to do so while we were still young, and i definitely will support her regardless of whatever decision she made.. after all, we are young adults and we are bound to have challenges and our ups and downs.. but isn't it because we suffer before, we tasted the bitterness before, so when we achived success.. the effect is double the sweetness because we achieved something with our own bare hands? the older generation called us the strawberry generation, well, this is a chinese term and it means we have a good life all along hence we do not have such great capabilities as they have when they were at our age.. lets prove them wrong, we have our own way of doing things and succeeding it, although less on physical work and more on brain work now..

i know each individual in this world have their own obstacles, but i think it is up to us to decide and achieve whatever we want in life.. and for that, it is important to stay constantly strong and aggressive.. like teng teng, who is aiming her best for masters, so is ruomei.. and now she knows what is right and what is wrong.. she have the courage to do everything on her own because she got horrible assignment groupmates.. but we as nottingham graduates, we have each other at heart.. so despite suffering, we have each other to spit out to and we will feel better then..

but when it comes to office, i cant help but to feel how quite a few colleagues i know have such depressing view of life.. i dunno.. but i disagree and dislike their pessimistic view of life.. for instance, i have a senior who came in every morning without fail, will say one of the following... headache/backache/stomachache/chest pain/ want to puke.. i am not condemning her but i cant help feel sorry for her in a way.. life is what we make it out to be and we control it with our minds.. thats why i totally agree with the teachings of the law of attraction.. i know life is tough but whether we are up to undertake the challenge or not is like i said, totally up to us.. and once a decision is made, make sure you would not regret.. be ready to face all challenges that will appear in the road taken..

and another one.. is even worse, because he is a guy... and why do i feel that i am more independent and mature than him? he got into the department i so desperately want, and yet, do not appreciate the opportunity given.. keep complaining managers rushing him in work and all and too much work and have to stay late up to work.. which is to me, if you do not go through all of these.. how on earth are you ever going to be a capable senior? how to get promoted fast? such a softie, especially for a guy... which i think such guy is unreliable.. yes, work is busy and suffering but we have to go through it, no pain, no gain.. this phrase have been so popularly used by my grandfather and mother and i have seen such examples in myself in my own life.. but his view and whatever from his mom was.. there is no need to commit so much in a job that will tire you out.. whatever happened to aggressiveness, sense of achievement and passion?

hence, facing such people in my life.. i have to ensure myself being strong constantly so that i am not easily influenced by them..i want achievement and i know life ahead will be more challenging since i am about to start my half working, half studying life.. gulp.. sounds a bit scary but i will try my very best to juggle both at one go and to be able to achieve both well.. what mustafa said just now in facebook chat is absolutely right.. while we are young, take all the challenges.. funny how we can suddenly chat.. because i dont think i ever noticed him at all in uni.. or even talk at all.. its just a facebook add and we start chatting already.. thats weird.. but he seems like a nice guy..

wooo.. registering CPA!! gambate!!!

the right way..

hey.. i know i am too young to comment on her.. but i cant belive i actually pen it down in her birthday card.. i guess it can be my own selfish intention as well.. because i am very easily affected by people's attitude around me.. i remembered last year, when my ex-senior was in an all-day terrible mood.. all her clients are giving her problems on the same day.. and i felt her anger the whole day.. i gooble down a lunch that worth rm20 that day, on my own.. and really regret after that.. and i have to left early because i cant take her angry aura that day, it was affecting me adversely then.. but when i was at the magazine stand after i left.. i saw her walking out to dinner.. looked so down and as if want to cry anytime.. i suddenly realised how important it is for me as a junior to assist.. and how important it is to be tough to survive in the corporate world and be successful.. and i see all these attitude in her, my ex-senior wica.. thats why i always respect her.. i know at bad situations.. people tend to complain and be down.. but we should not be out.. stay strong within our own will and expectations.. maybe, i am following her footsteps a little, thats why i am fierce sometimes.. my current senior, janet said so... i never realised it myself..

thats why i admitted this fact, i gave her a positive lifestyle thingy because yeah, i do not want to be like her.. always complaining of stress.. and felt sick.. today backache.. tomorrow stomachache.. the day after chest pain and everyday headache.. i indirectly hint this.. dunno whether she caught it or not.. but i dont think so.. i put the blame on myself.. saying that when i perform below my own expectations, i will just automatically become fierce.. she thought i am stressed when she text me.. i clarified on friday evening that i am never stressed.. nor do i treat this as stress.. i called it motivation and she was amazed and speechless.. told me to keep it up.. one thing at least i am glad.. she appreciates my help.. the exact words i read from a friendster message sent to me by wica after i left as an intern.. and it was that message that prompt me to work hard in my final year because i copied it to ms word and read it occassionally, just so i can stay on strong.. and i am proud i did.. and got used to it, and thanks also to nottingham, who had trained me well indeed.. enough for me to survive up till now..and i think thats the correct attitude if you want to be successful.. and never ever.. to give up.. on anything obstacle that threatens to box you down..

last wednesday.. i worked up to 10pm again.. but i did not regret.. i finished the organizers by myself!! woo-hoo!!! 118 individuals, on my own.. because my senior complained a lot of work and do not want to do it.. i did it.. while other seniors either do it themselves or split the work with their assistants.. i undertake it myself.. and i am a newcommer.. not bad eh?

after sue ann and jessica joined kpmg, which i hardly see them as well.. middle of this month, another nottingham graduate is joining.. (giang, if you are reading this, i wonder what will you say, will you still say her smile disgust you?) it is kai ling.. she resigned from her current job and went back to notts that day, saw my younger sister and told her to tell me that.. in a positive thinking perspective.. she is telling me that i wont be alone, but i am not already.. and i am not scared of loneliness, why? because lonely is a challenge as well.. if you can overcome it, it is good also.. in a negative way, she is hinting me that i am not the only one who can work in big4, she too, made it.. but sorry.. she need to be interviewed and write CVs and all.. all these process which i never experienced.. because this job came to me instead of me going for it anyway.. haha.. so we are still different.. and this coming 31st december, 3.40pm, marks one year after yvonne lai called me for the job.. and after that i texted giang and told her.. i was studying south east asia then.. i remembered vividly..

watched mulan and love happens today.. not too bad.. love happens was nice.. but quite predictable.. i think i prefer aniston in marley and me better.. but mulan.. woah!! it was wonderful!! zhao wei acted really well.. i have always respect this chinese legend.. a girl, out of fillal piety, represented her dad to the army.. and her strength, her determination and the attitude of not giving up.. is everything i will respect in a human.. a girl, leading a pack of guy army.. she is really wonderful.. mulan.. a character i respect very well.. and she possess all the character i know is significant for me to adopt in order for me to attain success and achieve my dreams.. the first step is to beat my own weakness and be sure that i will never, ever quit..

and that, i think is the right way of life and the first action towards success!! so just try my very best and jia you!!

looking forward to my annual leave on 22nd dec to next year!! yahoo!!