They say that when you are reluctant to learn.. you are ignorant.. yes, it may seem so.. because we ought to learn things from people more experienced than us.. but sometimes, it really depends on what kind of situations are those.. a child, maybe just an innocent infant.. have full of creative thoughts about the world.. he sees the world in an entire different way as most of us do.. can that be considered as naive? innocent? ignorant or silly? well.. not really.. i guess i call that genius.. because the child is always full of hope and happiness, the child do not know what is it called depression.. the child see tomorrow as a another bright day.. perhaps sometimes, before we make such assumptions, we ought to review our own memory and remember that, when we were very young children.. once upon a time.. we were like that as well.. and as we know more.. we learn about stress, depression and tiredness.. tears flow as a result of sadness.. the child will cry of course, maybe when he fell down and when he felt pain.. but unlikely it will be due to the abstract feelings which i have listed above..
What i think is better off learning less will be better.. on the first position.. is probably human relationships.. why create hatred and betrayals? of course when we work, we are forced to face with all kinds of situation and it is up to us to decide how we aim to resolve it.. the winner survives.. the loser leaves.. and that is life.. and how we feel all the time is within the control of our minds.. even in a most emotionally tiring situation.. so long you have the ability to convince yourself, that everything will be fine.. there is nothing, absolutely nothing in this world, that you cannot overcome.. we learn from experience and it is a routine thing.. that is what i told my senior when she thought i have too high expectations on myself.. she thought i am stressed out, i am not.. i told her.. i call those high expectations motivations.. she was so stunned and it did shut her up last month.. i do not deny, sometimes i cannot take it when everyday of my life.. i hear her loud complains.. here pain, there pain.. here stress there stress.. well.. who have never experienced stress in life? each of us have our own problems.. but in the end.. it is really up to you to decide, what to do.. which is why i respect my ex-seniors.. i hardly hear them complain.. they are by far younger.. but they seem wiser.. and i always tell myself time and again.. be like them.. not following the attitude of the people around you now.. people in my former department make wonderful role models.. keep your feelings inside and let it out only in silence..
which is how an old song goes.. #don't cry out loud~~ just keep it inside.. learn how to live that feeling#
why i suddenly mention such a topic is due to my thoughts from my lunch with 2 colleagues today.. the older one.. said that she is very stressed because boss kept rushing her for the 30-page proposal for her client.. even when she is sick.. she have to come back to rush it.. and she said that bosses do not know how to appreciate them.. complain that their bonuses are very little and all.. complain on the long working hours.. complain on the strain.. sigh.. although i listen in silence and occasionally, just smile and give a nod or two.. but what really reflect in my thoughts.. i guess they will never know.. the younger one complained about my ex-performance manager, who have now been promoted to director.. hence changes in my reporting route.. on her high expectations, wanting us to work long hours and always amend a same letter 101 times.. which is totally unnecessary.. yes, sometimes i do not deny that she is a bit cheong hei.. but she is also a perfectionist.. and experienced people are what that is needed for us to look up upon isnt it?
but as the youngest and newest (well..maybe now, 2nd newest) in the department.. i guess i do not have the power to voice out my judgement.. who will believe me? i think that contentment and satisfaction is more important than cash.. not many people understands.. not even my own mother.. who will look at me and think that i have gone completely nuts.. now.. if i believe 100% on what they say and throw away my own opinion, we learn to hate and dislike.. is that good? i have experienced this before.. when i was 19.. i believed in gossips and thus, i lost a friend.. which i know was harmless to me.. in that case, wont knowing less be a better alternative?
they say boss do not appreciate them and they are not happy with the bonuses, but do they ever take into account of the current economy? i am here for 6 months.. normally i will not be qualified to get bonus.. so without checking.. i assumed that it will be like that.. even told my ex-senior that on wednesday.. but after i said that, i went to the bank and saw that i was given.. which turned out to be a surprise for me.. although it is not a lot..just almost one month.. but i am more than contented.. and i think my hard work, those late nights and the weekend i came back to work, is worth it and it pays off.. really.. a small amount like that, is enough for me to think that i have been appreciated..
my ex-PM asked my colleague why i go back so early this week.. i know 6.30pm may not seem early.. but it is definitely more early than usual for me.. call me a workaholic but actually i like staying late to work.. i considered myself as an ultimately dull girl.. i am really all work and no play.. because i really am unsure what is play for me.. it is just that i have to get home early this week for my family.. i have some family issues up.. so i must balance up my time for it.. besides.. peak is just around the corner and i have to cherish the final freedom i can get.. before i have to cope with full time work as well as part time self-studying system for my CPA examninations.. but i have faith in myself.. as long as i want it.. there is nothing in this world that i cannot achieve.. everything is in my own hands and it is up to me to shape it.. obstacles and challenges may come along the way and as long as i am determine enough.. there is no reason i cannot overcome it..
well.. maybe buying lunch for the whole team in an expensive restaurant just because you got promoted is a bit too much la in this department.. but charity brings only good to our life aint it? =)
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