r u changed or am i just another emotional female animal?

I cant help but to miss those days, when you only have me beside you, piling me up with work, it may seem that you overwork me, but you have no idea, the happiness within it, i think it is something that cannot be replaced, forever and ever.. because happiness has always been unconditional...

I know, someday i have to leave, but your changes is just too significant, it upsets me.. I do not mind guiding her in whatever she does.. in fact, i am happy to.. but i cant help but to feel left out, that i, who has been by your side for almost one year, who has been assisting you, is being ignored.. i understand that she is my twin sister since we are born in the same day of the same year, but do you know, how hurting it is?

I cant help but to noticed that what should have belonged to me, now goes to her, the warmth of your nature, your smiles.. while nowadays, it was i who have to bear with your complains and tantrums.. it was i who have to ensure everything goes smoothly.. you cannot imagine, maybe.. that i felt left out..

I wasnt quite agreeable when they first place her under you honestly, for i know that you do not need another assistant, but since what has been done cannot be rewind.. i will try my best to guide her, but i really hope that you are who i know you are again.. you have no idea how lonely i have become.. especially when i sit next to you..

I cannot believe that i felt so hurt and jealous to hear you praising her, those work could have been mine.. it should be mine but it was taken away from me.. You should understand that, when i see other assistants happily helping their seniors while my work has lessen.. i felt sad.. and it isnt my fault at all..

All these while, sitting next to you, i know how reluctant i was at the beginning, but your joyful nature opened me, allow me to enjoy whatever i have on hand.. but that, assist in creating the unconditional happiness.. but now when i saw how you focus on her, my twin sister or even the other assistant who is not even helping you, i felt so hurt, where is the senior i have known for the past one year? where is she?

i am really unsure now.. was it that you have changed and want to leave me alone, or am i just too sensitive, too emotional to feel that way.. i cannot imagine.. it has gone that bad, to the extent that i have to excuse myself from in front of you, go into the toilet and console myself not to feel that way... it seems like jealousy has always been my weakest point, i thought i have smoothen it, but now, i dont think so..

how i wish, you are who i know you are again.. i miss your happy nature that cheers me up.. but where are you?