i cannot believe this when i was still in office yesterday.. and suddenly, i received a call that is of a new number... and it is obviously out stationed.. at first when i picked up, i thought it was a prank call or what.. the person simply said in a blur manner.. "hello? is this ling kim?" the voice seem somewhat familiar.. like a voice i have not heard for ages.. and then i suddenly remembered.. and my first question to him was "are you terry?" he said yes, and how do i know? haha.. this is so like him.. so like the terry i used to know, 2 years in national service did not seem to have change him at all in character.. oh.. how i missed that happy-go-lucky voice and that silly laugh..
he said he kept a list of his friends from malaysia.. so he tried them all.. but nai cin's one have changed and he do not have the new number.. so i gave it to him.. he said probably most of us have forgot about him, sound a little upset really... i disagreed.. indeed.. after he left in foundation.. we still talk about him.. a lot.. we missed his joking manner.. up to final year i still will bring him up occasionally.. and i told him that, he sounds happy about it..
teased him that after two years.. he now must be a very muscular man.. he proudly declares of course... he is a strong and handsome man now.. hahahah.. still the same old perasan terry i always knew..never changed at all.. then when i asked whether he will come back to malaysia.. he said he is not sure.. he might either go malaysia or uk.. but he is thinking of coming to KL next august.. he should might as well join nottingham again.. then i told him a bit about ourselves.. and told him to get a facebook account because that is our main source of communication anyway..
he asked whether nottingham have many koreans now, i understand.. because after laying off english for so many years.. he might be worried about the standard of his english again.. i said yes, which is true... koreans are getting more populated in notts now.. he seem happier.. and less worried..
TERRRYYY!!! come back!! we want to see you... kang tae kyu.. hahahaha
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Nottingham grad.. and still proud of it..
I know it may seem a bit late for me to say this.. but regardless, it is still better late than never aint it? this is what i felt and get more appreciate of my past, where i grew up the most nowadays.. and definitely happy and have no regrets of it.. and i am happy to say that i am not the only one feeling this way.. because two of my besties.. now doing their masters at different universities, felt the same way...
yes, during then, we often complained of stress.. not having enough sleep, we stayed up till dawn for assignments, we struggle much because we have to cope with 6 modules in 15 weeks and yet, we all are kind of kiasu because we want to aim high and pass our modules with flying colours.. but thinking back, i definitely have no regrets now.. because those days exist, there is the me today.. much more able to cope with stress.. or rather, am i immune to it? at least, to date in work, i do not felt stress yet.. although there is a lot of work and i am constantly busy, especially with the current condition i am in.. not being well appreciated despite the effort i have invest in.. but i believe that one day, i will get what i deserve.. well my senior is like screaming stress a lot each day, but in my mind, she did not do much anyway.. i do not felt those are stress.. everyday, she complained of headache, backache and feel like vomiting.. but thats part of life.. if we dont learn to cope with stress.. how on earth is a person ever going to be successful??
proud to say that we have been very well trained.. ruomei called me the other day and cried, until the line got cut, the situation she is in now, i can understand quite well.. her groupmates are not even bothered with doing research and while she asked her groupmate to add point into her assignment, which is a mere two page report, instead of researching and add on, she changed her wording just to prolong it instead, which is totally unnecessary.. she sent me a copy of what her groupmate wrote in another assignment.. which i have read and formed a conclusion.. her english is quite good actually, but the way she wrote is like storytelling instead of a formal piece of assignment.. and the same girl claimed that she grew up in a very strict university at the netherlands, and she got offered for warwick, which i have witnessed how one of my best friend worked so hard just so she can get in there.. the first reaction i gave was those are all bullshit.. and the same girl do not know anything about harvard referencing, which i thought is supposed to be very standardised..
on the other hand, teng teng spoke to me online yesterday.. she sent me her assignment as well and i read it, it is good, she still keep her standard very well indeed.. but i did gave her some points from my perspective, it is up to her whether she will add on to it or not... which i understand now, even in a developing country like malaysia, is getting so cautious of CSR.. and a linkage between CSR and marketing strategy can actually be formed.. she complained that her groupmates, majority are british, are a nuisance as well, they like to presume her as if she cant speak english.. and did not do proper research as well and she often have to redo the entire report on her own.. but she said, sometimes she felt that she can write better english than them..and how lucky she is as compared to ruomei since her group projects do not carry marks.. see how nottingham had trained us? and i am ever so proud of it.. and my two friends here think the same way.. we are so proud to be nottingham graduates..
seems like i have been contacted by my besties a lot these days and i am super happy about it.. the two above, and from high school, they thought of organising a gathering and although i am not a science stream person, i was their classmates once, in lower secondary, so they told me to join once they have it planned.. and cinny text me this morning to ask about cpa.. which i will register myself next week.. this create the opportunity for both of us to study together and can discuss again.. so happy.. hurray!! karyee is now facing her two final papers in acca and she is quite stress.. all the best and good luck to her.. she will get her answer from kpmg next week.. whether eventually, she will get the job or not.. she remains pessimistic about it.. keep saying she will not get, and somehow, my instinct is that, she will, no doubt, get it, worse come to worse, it will be a conditional offer.. after all, the company is cutting cost now and if they can get an acca graduate first hand, why not?
that is what i think la.. hahhahah.. so happy and proud that i am a nottingham graduate.. nottingham rocks!!! =) and i miss you so much.. i miss the classes.. the modules.. some of the lecturers, my room where i strive most of the time, the computer labs.. the library and above all.. the lake where i used to jog and destress.. i remember the when the wind blows, and i felt it on my face.. i can suddenly thought to soloutions to resolve my worries or they will just disappear, automatically without my trying hard to forget it.. dear nottingham malaysia where i spent four years of my life in.. where it had changed me from an ignorant silly teenager to a mature and more capable adult.. i missed you and love you always.. and thank you ever so much for giving me an opportunity to meet the best friends ever in my life.. those are the friends i definitely want to keep forever.. my sisters in soul..
yes, during then, we often complained of stress.. not having enough sleep, we stayed up till dawn for assignments, we struggle much because we have to cope with 6 modules in 15 weeks and yet, we all are kind of kiasu because we want to aim high and pass our modules with flying colours.. but thinking back, i definitely have no regrets now.. because those days exist, there is the me today.. much more able to cope with stress.. or rather, am i immune to it? at least, to date in work, i do not felt stress yet.. although there is a lot of work and i am constantly busy, especially with the current condition i am in.. not being well appreciated despite the effort i have invest in.. but i believe that one day, i will get what i deserve.. well my senior is like screaming stress a lot each day, but in my mind, she did not do much anyway.. i do not felt those are stress.. everyday, she complained of headache, backache and feel like vomiting.. but thats part of life.. if we dont learn to cope with stress.. how on earth is a person ever going to be successful??
proud to say that we have been very well trained.. ruomei called me the other day and cried, until the line got cut, the situation she is in now, i can understand quite well.. her groupmates are not even bothered with doing research and while she asked her groupmate to add point into her assignment, which is a mere two page report, instead of researching and add on, she changed her wording just to prolong it instead, which is totally unnecessary.. she sent me a copy of what her groupmate wrote in another assignment.. which i have read and formed a conclusion.. her english is quite good actually, but the way she wrote is like storytelling instead of a formal piece of assignment.. and the same girl claimed that she grew up in a very strict university at the netherlands, and she got offered for warwick, which i have witnessed how one of my best friend worked so hard just so she can get in there.. the first reaction i gave was those are all bullshit.. and the same girl do not know anything about harvard referencing, which i thought is supposed to be very standardised..
on the other hand, teng teng spoke to me online yesterday.. she sent me her assignment as well and i read it, it is good, she still keep her standard very well indeed.. but i did gave her some points from my perspective, it is up to her whether she will add on to it or not... which i understand now, even in a developing country like malaysia, is getting so cautious of CSR.. and a linkage between CSR and marketing strategy can actually be formed.. she complained that her groupmates, majority are british, are a nuisance as well, they like to presume her as if she cant speak english.. and did not do proper research as well and she often have to redo the entire report on her own.. but she said, sometimes she felt that she can write better english than them..and how lucky she is as compared to ruomei since her group projects do not carry marks.. see how nottingham had trained us? and i am ever so proud of it.. and my two friends here think the same way.. we are so proud to be nottingham graduates..
seems like i have been contacted by my besties a lot these days and i am super happy about it.. the two above, and from high school, they thought of organising a gathering and although i am not a science stream person, i was their classmates once, in lower secondary, so they told me to join once they have it planned.. and cinny text me this morning to ask about cpa.. which i will register myself next week.. this create the opportunity for both of us to study together and can discuss again.. so happy.. hurray!! karyee is now facing her two final papers in acca and she is quite stress.. all the best and good luck to her.. she will get her answer from kpmg next week.. whether eventually, she will get the job or not.. she remains pessimistic about it.. keep saying she will not get, and somehow, my instinct is that, she will, no doubt, get it, worse come to worse, it will be a conditional offer.. after all, the company is cutting cost now and if they can get an acca graduate first hand, why not?
that is what i think la.. hahhahah.. so happy and proud that i am a nottingham graduate.. nottingham rocks!!! =) and i miss you so much.. i miss the classes.. the modules.. some of the lecturers, my room where i strive most of the time, the computer labs.. the library and above all.. the lake where i used to jog and destress.. i remember the when the wind blows, and i felt it on my face.. i can suddenly thought to soloutions to resolve my worries or they will just disappear, automatically without my trying hard to forget it.. dear nottingham malaysia where i spent four years of my life in.. where it had changed me from an ignorant silly teenager to a mature and more capable adult.. i missed you and love you always.. and thank you ever so much for giving me an opportunity to meet the best friends ever in my life.. those are the friends i definitely want to keep forever.. my sisters in soul..
Friday, November 27, 2009
week of hard work..
this week.. wow.. a very tough and tiring week..as usual, i am such a kiasi and kiasu person, i wanted efficiency and effectiveness.. so i commit a lot of myself in work.. monday and tuesday was not too bad la.. and i manage to figure out a case.. although this is not the first case i solve.. but its not too bad la.. i know so far, my rate of success is quite alright and i hardly disappoint myself at work.. tuesday is quite ok as well.. std for this month is out except for one co.. who gave info late... and want it by monday!! >.< .. hope that i did it right..
wednesday.. and thursday are probably the days i am most tired.. worked up to 10.30 and 10 respectively.. but of the organizers that belongs to my senior, which totalled to 139, i finished 103.. which is very fast and fastest among the others.. but i did not update the database.. i dun even have the time.. so when they extract from the database.. it remains low.. but because of that... they think i did not do work.. i felt so innocent and a little not worth it.. and as if send an email for the purpose to bombard me.. but i was in training that time..but i felt so sad when they accused me for not installing the latest version.. i did!! and access, under windows.. is always full of errors.. well.. never mind.. i will tahan for now.. but i cant wait to go back to where i belong, the most important thing is that my boss is aware that i worked very hard and i am precious to the co..
checked teng teng's assign just now.. super pro!!! =)
wednesday.. and thursday are probably the days i am most tired.. worked up to 10.30 and 10 respectively.. but of the organizers that belongs to my senior, which totalled to 139, i finished 103.. which is very fast and fastest among the others.. but i did not update the database.. i dun even have the time.. so when they extract from the database.. it remains low.. but because of that... they think i did not do work.. i felt so innocent and a little not worth it.. and as if send an email for the purpose to bombard me.. but i was in training that time..but i felt so sad when they accused me for not installing the latest version.. i did!! and access, under windows.. is always full of errors.. well.. never mind.. i will tahan for now.. but i cant wait to go back to where i belong, the most important thing is that my boss is aware that i worked very hard and i am precious to the co..
checked teng teng's assign just now.. super pro!!! =)
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thoughts
Sometimes, i think it is good in a way when you start asking yourself who am i? and why do i do this? what would happen if i dont do this?
when i look back, i really miss the lake where i used to jog almost everyday, i miss the greener environment and the fresher air than where i work now, i guess, a part of me belongs to nature.. if i have sufficient money, i will want to own a house in an area where the place is full of trees.. it is fine even if it is by the sea.. i do not mind the salty air everyday, but such faraway dreams.. i think can only be attained when i retire 33 years ahead maybe (if i ever get to retire at the age of 55 that is).
i remembered during then, often, on the way after my jog and back to my room, i used to refresh those memories i have had during my intern days.. and in fact, kind of looking forward to return here.. but after all that happens and with a twist of words from just one person, as if she can play god.. my own dreams and ambitions have been postponed and i hope, with my stubborn personality, will never shatter right in front of my eyes.. i will never let it happen.. ever.. if i know that hope is no longer available here by the end of next year, then i will move on to a new place where hope is built for me and will not be taken away..
but of course, i have made this place home and i hope, this do not have to happen.. this is why despite my unwillingness and the tears i have shed.. (note that i am not a person who usually cries) here, i have to make my keep worthwhile.. somehow, it can be a blessing, well at least i get to learn something new and totally different from where i hope to be.. i have additional knowledge and that is an added advantage, and i know, never in this life, i will ever be regret of the current moments which i am going through now.
i am happy that i manage to prove to the people who monitor me here.. glad that they realised my potential here.. that i have managed to prove to my senior that i assisted her to break her records.. i want to efficient and effective as well, and so far.. i give myself 70% maybe.. but i aim to achieve even better..
praying everyday for my dreams to come true and working hard to achieve it, i hope fate will not fail me and give me another disappointment.. like i do not deny the times which i have faced this year..
cant wait for my loooooonnnnggggg annual leave starting 22nd december till i start work again on 4th january.. i deserve a break.. perhaps i will start studying.. and i hope that year 2010 will definitely be a better one.. (which according to those feng shui books, yes!)
when i look back, i really miss the lake where i used to jog almost everyday, i miss the greener environment and the fresher air than where i work now, i guess, a part of me belongs to nature.. if i have sufficient money, i will want to own a house in an area where the place is full of trees.. it is fine even if it is by the sea.. i do not mind the salty air everyday, but such faraway dreams.. i think can only be attained when i retire 33 years ahead maybe (if i ever get to retire at the age of 55 that is).
i remembered during then, often, on the way after my jog and back to my room, i used to refresh those memories i have had during my intern days.. and in fact, kind of looking forward to return here.. but after all that happens and with a twist of words from just one person, as if she can play god.. my own dreams and ambitions have been postponed and i hope, with my stubborn personality, will never shatter right in front of my eyes.. i will never let it happen.. ever.. if i know that hope is no longer available here by the end of next year, then i will move on to a new place where hope is built for me and will not be taken away..
but of course, i have made this place home and i hope, this do not have to happen.. this is why despite my unwillingness and the tears i have shed.. (note that i am not a person who usually cries) here, i have to make my keep worthwhile.. somehow, it can be a blessing, well at least i get to learn something new and totally different from where i hope to be.. i have additional knowledge and that is an added advantage, and i know, never in this life, i will ever be regret of the current moments which i am going through now.
i am happy that i manage to prove to the people who monitor me here.. glad that they realised my potential here.. that i have managed to prove to my senior that i assisted her to break her records.. i want to efficient and effective as well, and so far.. i give myself 70% maybe.. but i aim to achieve even better..
praying everyday for my dreams to come true and working hard to achieve it, i hope fate will not fail me and give me another disappointment.. like i do not deny the times which i have faced this year..
cant wait for my loooooonnnnggggg annual leave starting 22nd december till i start work again on 4th january.. i deserve a break.. perhaps i will start studying.. and i hope that year 2010 will definitely be a better one.. (which according to those feng shui books, yes!)
Friday, November 20, 2009
back to the down to earth..
And that is what we ought to be... i think for this, i still owe my ex-senior.. spoke to her on thursday early morning..one of the few days she actually came early after peak, because she have a course to attend... and she made me think twice of my current position.. whether i am really unhappy... or i am just a stubborn and over-determined person that is not open-minded enough..
this week have been quite a tiring week for me.. because most of my time is dedicated on my work.. my current senior finally had it after i have the courage to speak up to her when she.. she asked why am i so fierce.. when i answered that i am fierce only to her.. she really hit me playfully.. i know la.. in a way although i am standing up for my own right, i am not respecting her as my elder as well.. as my ex-senior advised.. i will reduce it.. anyways my so called "fierce" is not rude.. this week seem to be a week full of challenges for me.. clients really come up with all kinds of weird situations..
first, it is a client which my senior just took over recently.. and the expatriate is a leaver 10 years ago.. the irb claim that he did not settle his outstanding tax liability.. bah... its only 300.. that one only want to chase after.. then i went over to that branch and settle it.. now, after 10 years.. they finally going to transfer the cash into his account and deem his debt to be settled.. finally.. and then based on the irb's record, my other client did not pay their july std.. so we have to go through all the process to get the payment receipt... monday, i am going to call the irb to clarify this.. then another client go against the rules and claim extra computer relief last year, which he claimed once in 2007 and this relief can only be claimed once in every 3 years.. so it is his own fault since we took over his accounts only last year..
wednesday and thursday.. i stayed up to 10pm at night for work.. and am so exhausted now. had dinner with susan, my colleague that day, which we have similar personality.. she wanted to learn more.. so do i.. but i am better because she is under dilemma.. she will think it out during her leave next week... and i trust that she will.. while i am under my own stubborness.. i still want to return where i belong some day.. but when i really question my own feelings.. i am not as unhappy as i thought.. yes, my senior leave me alone a lot and i am expected to take over her large clients.. yes, there are a lot of work which i actually self-taught and yes, i definitely do more work than her.. but all these, when i come to terms and think about it.. dont they just made me grow up more? and more mature and capable?
well at least, she did teach me quite a lot.. like this week, i learnt about double taxation agreements, or DTA.. how sometimes, non-residents choose to remit taxes in their own countries or not in host countries which they work temporary.. but they need to inform the irb about this.. and with this, documents such as letters from the home country company that salary is paid by them.. letter from host country to certify that.. certificate of fiscal residence from the irb of their home country and a letter by external auditor to certify this all is true and is independent..
i will be applying for cpa next week but i need to clarify with HR about something first... whether it will constrain me from transferring when i am under bonding.. many colleagues are leaving this department, one left this week.. and another finishing her term next week.. she is going to transfer department..
for now.. i ought to put in my best effort and do all i can.. prove to the company that i have what it takes to be precious to the company and they will not want to lose me.. i just wanna cherish every opportunity i have.. although i am not at where i belong.. but i am not unhappy.. maybe sometimes i am under stress.. but its alright, who will grow up without it? i just want to be happy, maybe i dont have an equal chance now.. but that does not mean it will last forever right? i believe.. one day.. i will eventually attain it..
this week have been quite a tiring week for me.. because most of my time is dedicated on my work.. my current senior finally had it after i have the courage to speak up to her when she.. she asked why am i so fierce.. when i answered that i am fierce only to her.. she really hit me playfully.. i know la.. in a way although i am standing up for my own right, i am not respecting her as my elder as well.. as my ex-senior advised.. i will reduce it.. anyways my so called "fierce" is not rude.. this week seem to be a week full of challenges for me.. clients really come up with all kinds of weird situations..
first, it is a client which my senior just took over recently.. and the expatriate is a leaver 10 years ago.. the irb claim that he did not settle his outstanding tax liability.. bah... its only 300.. that one only want to chase after.. then i went over to that branch and settle it.. now, after 10 years.. they finally going to transfer the cash into his account and deem his debt to be settled.. finally.. and then based on the irb's record, my other client did not pay their july std.. so we have to go through all the process to get the payment receipt... monday, i am going to call the irb to clarify this.. then another client go against the rules and claim extra computer relief last year, which he claimed once in 2007 and this relief can only be claimed once in every 3 years.. so it is his own fault since we took over his accounts only last year..
wednesday and thursday.. i stayed up to 10pm at night for work.. and am so exhausted now. had dinner with susan, my colleague that day, which we have similar personality.. she wanted to learn more.. so do i.. but i am better because she is under dilemma.. she will think it out during her leave next week... and i trust that she will.. while i am under my own stubborness.. i still want to return where i belong some day.. but when i really question my own feelings.. i am not as unhappy as i thought.. yes, my senior leave me alone a lot and i am expected to take over her large clients.. yes, there are a lot of work which i actually self-taught and yes, i definitely do more work than her.. but all these, when i come to terms and think about it.. dont they just made me grow up more? and more mature and capable?
well at least, she did teach me quite a lot.. like this week, i learnt about double taxation agreements, or DTA.. how sometimes, non-residents choose to remit taxes in their own countries or not in host countries which they work temporary.. but they need to inform the irb about this.. and with this, documents such as letters from the home country company that salary is paid by them.. letter from host country to certify that.. certificate of fiscal residence from the irb of their home country and a letter by external auditor to certify this all is true and is independent..
i will be applying for cpa next week but i need to clarify with HR about something first... whether it will constrain me from transferring when i am under bonding.. many colleagues are leaving this department, one left this week.. and another finishing her term next week.. she is going to transfer department..
for now.. i ought to put in my best effort and do all i can.. prove to the company that i have what it takes to be precious to the company and they will not want to lose me.. i just wanna cherish every opportunity i have.. although i am not at where i belong.. but i am not unhappy.. maybe sometimes i am under stress.. but its alright, who will grow up without it? i just want to be happy, maybe i dont have an equal chance now.. but that does not mean it will last forever right? i believe.. one day.. i will eventually attain it..
Friday, November 13, 2009
waking up in facts
It had been a week of many ups and downs.. a week which i discovered many truths and finally, given an opportunity to release my thoughts.. a week of me being sarcastic for once..
As I had said many times before.. i am a weird person whose character does not reflect my age.. sometimes, i think i am older than i think, my source of entertainment is just plain ridiculous.. or either that, i have been spoil real bad last year by corporate tax, trained and torture myself to be a disciplined person.. and yet, enjoying the suffering within..
Monday... nothing much really.. the company's database have been unstable the entire week and finally, it gets fixed today.. which i hope.. will be final.. note that i came for work last saturday, which result in my post of realising how not worth it is to sacrifice my darlings for it.. facing a senior who is like, doing nothing... and after seeing me facing the computer and clicking the whole day, simply asked.. am i not bored and did not even bother to do anything.. did not even help.. and those are her clients.. i did query her whether i can charge my saturday work on client in timesheet, which we have to do everyday.. she said yes and she will sign me off.. but i cannot charge it as full amount?! i thought overtime should charge more, not less.. i was so stunned.. after given it some thoughts, i recall that she did not do much, probably she is afraid that me as a junior charge more than she.. she said she want to discount my timesheet sometimes.. but is this fair to me??
Wednesday is probably the worse day.. she is in a bad mood.. and it is everything in this world she blamed on me.. 3 times.. she said she told me to do something but i forgot.. which i know very well that she did not.. i am not stupid.. my ears are sharp and i know very well what i heard.. there are 3 types of learning in this world and each human have a part of it.. but one part is stronger.. it is either, learn quickly through reading, listening or practicing, and i am at the service of listening.. unless i am unwilling, else i know what i heard pretty well.. and i am very sure that she did not say it.. i hate accusations and i am as honest as the day.. so i hate her character of turning her imagination into facts without bypassing me.. in addition to that, i really took offence of the sentence she said when it is something that is not considered as my fault.. since filing room failed to retrieve the correct file... how would i know? i am not even involved.. she asked me do i have a brain? and her voice is so freaking loud.. i was once scolded that way when i was young, and i am very sensitive to that.. at that moment, i was so mad that i feel like telling her back straight to the face.. i have a brain and it is better than yours.. but i kept it to myself.. that moment i really dislike her.. to me, you only have the right to criticise others when you do not have the equal disadvantage...
i remained mad the entire thursday.. but i did my work quietly.. and if i find what she said contradicting the truth.. i give it back to her.. i support the truth.. it was raining very heavily yesterday evening about 3.. but there is an urgent case.. and i know she will not go, i am to be the one.. i realised how much i like to undertake responsibilities nowadays.. so regardless of the rain, i go for it.. and i am such a blessed person.. halfway to the inland revenue board, the sun shines brightly.. and the officer i met is so cute and pleasant, which is not a frequent thing especially in non resident branch.. and when i got back, she told me that an officer called to look for me.. and he is cute as well.. ahahha.. i attract cute officers right? and she finally said that she noticed yesterday, both of us are like fighting each other in speech.. i smiled secretly, yeah.. but i stand for the truth.. and i have no regrets for what i did..
today, huh.. i was so sick last week but i am reluctant to take MCs.. because i hate it and i hate having backlogs.. but she, when she left office yesterday, everything was fine and good.. and? she is on mc today.. which i am sure is nothing serious.. as my colleague told me, she is constantly on MCs ever since last year but not as much as this year, right, she became weaker since i came.. or more lazier? look, it is organizer time now and other seniors are afraid that they cannot get it done in time, they work along with their assistants, except her.. i am doing all the work and she is getting all the credit.. i think she dont even know how to do it.. because she never tried once at all.. all this while, i self discover and self taught myself.. it is not that i underestimate her, but my patience have come to the limit i guess.. it is as if i have taken over all her clients..
well.. this morning i spoke to my performance manager.. i told her my problem... how unrest i felt ever since i got transferred.. but i know that this is a blessing in disguise.. how i worked hard for my final year for the aim to return.. i am determine enough to go through all of these and i am a stubborn person.. i want to be able to achieve what i want with my own hands.. this is supposed to be a year end dialouge but i am frank enough to say it.. unlike my senior, who is not happy when i mentioned it 2 months ago.. she is very understanding, she said i am a very good worker with a good attitude.. the company will not want to lose me to another firm.. so i do have a chance to return given that the department have sufficient employees... which i know is not now.. but at the moment, she encourage my doing secondment to the department next year.. and to include that as part of my goal for next year.. and to attend for its related trainings.. she encourage me to befriend yee wan.. the senior who transferred from IES to CPTX.. well, if i get the chance that is.. i asked her about my bonding with the company.. she said she was unsure and told me to ask boss next week.. since she is not sure whether me signing up now means i am stuck here in this department for the next 4 years.. which i do not think so.. but if it does, then i have to postpone my studies of cpa until i return to CPTX..
at least i know now, who is good and who is fake.. but yet i have to stay strong all the time.. with sufficient courage.. my future is in my hands and i shape it.. i may be being making used and taken advantaged of now, but i learn more from it.. and this is an advantage for me and i will let it be.. but i will stay awake with the facts now..
As I had said many times before.. i am a weird person whose character does not reflect my age.. sometimes, i think i am older than i think, my source of entertainment is just plain ridiculous.. or either that, i have been spoil real bad last year by corporate tax, trained and torture myself to be a disciplined person.. and yet, enjoying the suffering within..
Monday... nothing much really.. the company's database have been unstable the entire week and finally, it gets fixed today.. which i hope.. will be final.. note that i came for work last saturday, which result in my post of realising how not worth it is to sacrifice my darlings for it.. facing a senior who is like, doing nothing... and after seeing me facing the computer and clicking the whole day, simply asked.. am i not bored and did not even bother to do anything.. did not even help.. and those are her clients.. i did query her whether i can charge my saturday work on client in timesheet, which we have to do everyday.. she said yes and she will sign me off.. but i cannot charge it as full amount?! i thought overtime should charge more, not less.. i was so stunned.. after given it some thoughts, i recall that she did not do much, probably she is afraid that me as a junior charge more than she.. she said she want to discount my timesheet sometimes.. but is this fair to me??
Wednesday is probably the worse day.. she is in a bad mood.. and it is everything in this world she blamed on me.. 3 times.. she said she told me to do something but i forgot.. which i know very well that she did not.. i am not stupid.. my ears are sharp and i know very well what i heard.. there are 3 types of learning in this world and each human have a part of it.. but one part is stronger.. it is either, learn quickly through reading, listening or practicing, and i am at the service of listening.. unless i am unwilling, else i know what i heard pretty well.. and i am very sure that she did not say it.. i hate accusations and i am as honest as the day.. so i hate her character of turning her imagination into facts without bypassing me.. in addition to that, i really took offence of the sentence she said when it is something that is not considered as my fault.. since filing room failed to retrieve the correct file... how would i know? i am not even involved.. she asked me do i have a brain? and her voice is so freaking loud.. i was once scolded that way when i was young, and i am very sensitive to that.. at that moment, i was so mad that i feel like telling her back straight to the face.. i have a brain and it is better than yours.. but i kept it to myself.. that moment i really dislike her.. to me, you only have the right to criticise others when you do not have the equal disadvantage...
i remained mad the entire thursday.. but i did my work quietly.. and if i find what she said contradicting the truth.. i give it back to her.. i support the truth.. it was raining very heavily yesterday evening about 3.. but there is an urgent case.. and i know she will not go, i am to be the one.. i realised how much i like to undertake responsibilities nowadays.. so regardless of the rain, i go for it.. and i am such a blessed person.. halfway to the inland revenue board, the sun shines brightly.. and the officer i met is so cute and pleasant, which is not a frequent thing especially in non resident branch.. and when i got back, she told me that an officer called to look for me.. and he is cute as well.. ahahha.. i attract cute officers right? and she finally said that she noticed yesterday, both of us are like fighting each other in speech.. i smiled secretly, yeah.. but i stand for the truth.. and i have no regrets for what i did..
today, huh.. i was so sick last week but i am reluctant to take MCs.. because i hate it and i hate having backlogs.. but she, when she left office yesterday, everything was fine and good.. and? she is on mc today.. which i am sure is nothing serious.. as my colleague told me, she is constantly on MCs ever since last year but not as much as this year, right, she became weaker since i came.. or more lazier? look, it is organizer time now and other seniors are afraid that they cannot get it done in time, they work along with their assistants, except her.. i am doing all the work and she is getting all the credit.. i think she dont even know how to do it.. because she never tried once at all.. all this while, i self discover and self taught myself.. it is not that i underestimate her, but my patience have come to the limit i guess.. it is as if i have taken over all her clients..
well.. this morning i spoke to my performance manager.. i told her my problem... how unrest i felt ever since i got transferred.. but i know that this is a blessing in disguise.. how i worked hard for my final year for the aim to return.. i am determine enough to go through all of these and i am a stubborn person.. i want to be able to achieve what i want with my own hands.. this is supposed to be a year end dialouge but i am frank enough to say it.. unlike my senior, who is not happy when i mentioned it 2 months ago.. she is very understanding, she said i am a very good worker with a good attitude.. the company will not want to lose me to another firm.. so i do have a chance to return given that the department have sufficient employees... which i know is not now.. but at the moment, she encourage my doing secondment to the department next year.. and to include that as part of my goal for next year.. and to attend for its related trainings.. she encourage me to befriend yee wan.. the senior who transferred from IES to CPTX.. well, if i get the chance that is.. i asked her about my bonding with the company.. she said she was unsure and told me to ask boss next week.. since she is not sure whether me signing up now means i am stuck here in this department for the next 4 years.. which i do not think so.. but if it does, then i have to postpone my studies of cpa until i return to CPTX..
at least i know now, who is good and who is fake.. but yet i have to stay strong all the time.. with sufficient courage.. my future is in my hands and i shape it.. i may be being making used and taken advantaged of now, but i learn more from it.. and this is an advantage for me and i will let it be.. but i will stay awake with the facts now..
Monday, November 9, 2009
success means work for it, not wait for it
Had lunch with a colleague today, well in the pantry, i brought my own food alright, to cut cost, and we talk about people like we always... well, it may sound like gossip, but actually, both of us, young as we may, learn from the mistakes of others, mistakes probably the person who commit it will never realise.. and blame it on destiny or whatever else, except of themselves...
what is success?? well.. maslow hierarchy of needs would have said.. when we attain success, we achieve self-actualisation.. yes, in a way it is correct, but success also help to boost a person's ability, attitude and aim.. everyone wants to be successful.. dont we all?? but how to achieve it is yet another problem..
by saying this, i do not mean to betray others, i am only saying my own piece of mind.. like the chinese proverb saying, you may be lucky once, but you may not be as lucky the second time around.. so dont just wait under the tree and expect to get rabbit meat for supper, hunt for it.. which means there are actually no free items under the sky, everyone have to work for it.. and it is through the bitterness we endure, that when we attain success.. it is the sweetest fruit ever,, we are meant to sacrifice something in life.. and if we know we really want the outcome to be like that, then just do it.. with courage.. dare to fail, why, thomas edison failed about 999 times before he finally invented the light bulb... it is his determination that reap awards..
everyone can be geniuses... if they want to... albert eistein and thomas edison are both thought to be plain stupid when they were kids.. bill gates, as well as the creators of google and youtube are all college dropouts.. why they can be so successful?? because they never give up.. they are determined to convince themselves to do that.. not because of some minor obstacles and you conclude it to be the end..
i do not mean to do this.. but i have to admit that there are times i am quite pissed off by my senior, although she often told me that this is so that i can learn faster and learn more.. but when i observe.. i cant help but to be a little angry.. yes, she is a very cheerful person.. she is very good to me.. very protective of me.. but look, just because a client made her a little angry, she refused to call her, and instead ask me to, is this professional?? we came here to be professionals, so it is a must to practice professionalism.. be strict, be open-minded.. no matter how innocently accused you are.. if you know it is not true.. even if it is true, sometimes it is just essential to be a bit thick skinned and face it properly, even after a very fierce arguement.. this is something i learnt from cptx.. and i know it is good for me and hence, an attitude never to give up on, now and forever..
pray be.. not only for myself..but also for all my friends who view this post.. be determine, no matter how stupid one might be.. with determination.. there is nothing under the sky we cant achieve.. the most important is.. we ought not to give up..
what is success?? well.. maslow hierarchy of needs would have said.. when we attain success, we achieve self-actualisation.. yes, in a way it is correct, but success also help to boost a person's ability, attitude and aim.. everyone wants to be successful.. dont we all?? but how to achieve it is yet another problem..
by saying this, i do not mean to betray others, i am only saying my own piece of mind.. like the chinese proverb saying, you may be lucky once, but you may not be as lucky the second time around.. so dont just wait under the tree and expect to get rabbit meat for supper, hunt for it.. which means there are actually no free items under the sky, everyone have to work for it.. and it is through the bitterness we endure, that when we attain success.. it is the sweetest fruit ever,, we are meant to sacrifice something in life.. and if we know we really want the outcome to be like that, then just do it.. with courage.. dare to fail, why, thomas edison failed about 999 times before he finally invented the light bulb... it is his determination that reap awards..
everyone can be geniuses... if they want to... albert eistein and thomas edison are both thought to be plain stupid when they were kids.. bill gates, as well as the creators of google and youtube are all college dropouts.. why they can be so successful?? because they never give up.. they are determined to convince themselves to do that.. not because of some minor obstacles and you conclude it to be the end..
i do not mean to do this.. but i have to admit that there are times i am quite pissed off by my senior, although she often told me that this is so that i can learn faster and learn more.. but when i observe.. i cant help but to be a little angry.. yes, she is a very cheerful person.. she is very good to me.. very protective of me.. but look, just because a client made her a little angry, she refused to call her, and instead ask me to, is this professional?? we came here to be professionals, so it is a must to practice professionalism.. be strict, be open-minded.. no matter how innocently accused you are.. if you know it is not true.. even if it is true, sometimes it is just essential to be a bit thick skinned and face it properly, even after a very fierce arguement.. this is something i learnt from cptx.. and i know it is good for me and hence, an attitude never to give up on, now and forever..
pray be.. not only for myself..but also for all my friends who view this post.. be determine, no matter how stupid one might be.. with determination.. there is nothing under the sky we cant achieve.. the most important is.. we ought not to give up..
Friday, November 6, 2009
is it worth it??
Okay, its saturday and i am in office.. i sacrifice my sleep, my entertainment, my drama to work. yesterday, i would have thought that it is normal.. but now, what is on my mind is just simply.. is it worth it? am i stupid to be here at all?? i could have be in mid valley now and meet up for gatheritng with my darling friends instead of being here alone...
came in at 9.30am today and pray here, and start the job around 10.15am.. everything on my own, and those are not even my clients.. this is my first time doing this and i am not sure how either.. but i do everything on my own with the limited guidance from the so called briefing, as now, i am considered the only new person in my department.. someone who have not done this before.. and yet i tried my very best..
my senior came in near 11 and from then, start searching for a notice of assessment and then start practicing her emcee script for a colleague's wedding tomorrow.. she didnt even do her work, i do her work.. went to cptx there and speak to a former senior, she said she had heard things about my current senior, yes, i was involved in that case, the currency rate and all.. the mistake was done early this year, so its not my fault.. how my senior got chastised by an associate director and she criticise him back right in front of his face as well.. i know both of them are not those staff who are especially careful.. but to me, admit your mistake and dont push the blame on others.. seriously, i, being her direct junior.. is not aware that this happened when other departments know it already...
suddenly, when i thought of how my presence here have reduced her job, is not worth it.. she seldom do it all as well.. its like she allocate the work to me most of the time only.. but the cptx senior told me that my ability to face big clients now is a good thing.. i get to learn more, it is true and i do not deny.. but sometimes.. it is really not fair and not worth it..
came in at 9.30am today and pray here, and start the job around 10.15am.. everything on my own, and those are not even my clients.. this is my first time doing this and i am not sure how either.. but i do everything on my own with the limited guidance from the so called briefing, as now, i am considered the only new person in my department.. someone who have not done this before.. and yet i tried my very best..
my senior came in near 11 and from then, start searching for a notice of assessment and then start practicing her emcee script for a colleague's wedding tomorrow.. she didnt even do her work, i do her work.. went to cptx there and speak to a former senior, she said she had heard things about my current senior, yes, i was involved in that case, the currency rate and all.. the mistake was done early this year, so its not my fault.. how my senior got chastised by an associate director and she criticise him back right in front of his face as well.. i know both of them are not those staff who are especially careful.. but to me, admit your mistake and dont push the blame on others.. seriously, i, being her direct junior.. is not aware that this happened when other departments know it already...
suddenly, when i thought of how my presence here have reduced her job, is not worth it.. she seldom do it all as well.. its like she allocate the work to me most of the time only.. but the cptx senior told me that my ability to face big clients now is a good thing.. i get to learn more, it is true and i do not deny.. but sometimes.. it is really not fair and not worth it..
huhu~~ work
its 7.15pm.. and if you exclude the 2 managers, i am probably the only person left here.. hungry~~~ i cant wait for my sis to come and pick me up and go for dinner.. hahaahha.. well, surprisingly, these 2 days have been relatively smooth for me.. although with some challeging bumps of course.
Among which, curse my client... i courier out the letter on the 27th oct, and she called back yesterday, saying that she cant locate it.. we went through such a mess.. and track the document online, and found out that they actually received it on 30th oct, and another colleague took it.. and one of the payment due date was yesterday!! so my senior have to request for an extension of time.. which is till today.. and golly, i start to wonder whether they really care about their company.. i called them to confirm the payment made, just to request for the cheque number.. and she said that she will revert.. i waited for an hour, she did not.. so i called back, she said she forgot and woowww.. but the payment is made of course.. it is more than 90k.. (some rich guy havin such a large salary and have to pay such a large amount of tax)... tried to call the officer after that but she left already.. haiz.. whatever penalty they may get.. its their problem now.. due to their carelessness
and my japan client who used TT transfer.. golly, pity them.. they made the payment last week but it cannot be deemed until it reflects on the irb's system.... pray hard that it will reflect by next tues.. if not, hope they wont get any penalty.. its not their fault..
my senior have no comments about me when i told her that i have finished my work.. this is the first time i was complained for being too efficient.. well, thanks to the intern days, i was trained like that.. 1 thing i must comment is that, compared to my ex-senior, my current senior is less committed.. it is a fact, i always look up to my former senior because of her discipline.. and i always wish to be like her, pretty, intelligent, capable and efficient.. why, she is 13 years younger than my current senior and they hold the same position!
we are supposed to celebrate cinny's birthday tomorrow, but i cant because i have to get my person back here to work.. its tax organiser time.. which we request info from clients.. and its work work work~~ nowadays i do not deny myself being a true workaholic.. and i am liking it.. ridiculous? weird? well thats me.. and i dont care what jealous people think of me.. i am who i am.. naturally a worker.. and loving it..
but my decision remains same.. if i cant transfer next year, i will leave.. i miss thinking accounts in an assets, liability and equity manner.. not here.. salary, bonus, dividend or whatever.. although i no longer hate it, but i know i cant be here forever.. that will mean i wasted my degree altogether.. even takin a cpa will be wasted..
just do what i can.. just try my best... just aim for the highest possible achievement.. and everything will be ok.. yes! think positive!! look forward and never backwards.. and gambate!!! =)
Among which, curse my client... i courier out the letter on the 27th oct, and she called back yesterday, saying that she cant locate it.. we went through such a mess.. and track the document online, and found out that they actually received it on 30th oct, and another colleague took it.. and one of the payment due date was yesterday!! so my senior have to request for an extension of time.. which is till today.. and golly, i start to wonder whether they really care about their company.. i called them to confirm the payment made, just to request for the cheque number.. and she said that she will revert.. i waited for an hour, she did not.. so i called back, she said she forgot and woowww.. but the payment is made of course.. it is more than 90k.. (some rich guy havin such a large salary and have to pay such a large amount of tax)... tried to call the officer after that but she left already.. haiz.. whatever penalty they may get.. its their problem now.. due to their carelessness
and my japan client who used TT transfer.. golly, pity them.. they made the payment last week but it cannot be deemed until it reflects on the irb's system.... pray hard that it will reflect by next tues.. if not, hope they wont get any penalty.. its not their fault..
my senior have no comments about me when i told her that i have finished my work.. this is the first time i was complained for being too efficient.. well, thanks to the intern days, i was trained like that.. 1 thing i must comment is that, compared to my ex-senior, my current senior is less committed.. it is a fact, i always look up to my former senior because of her discipline.. and i always wish to be like her, pretty, intelligent, capable and efficient.. why, she is 13 years younger than my current senior and they hold the same position!
we are supposed to celebrate cinny's birthday tomorrow, but i cant because i have to get my person back here to work.. its tax organiser time.. which we request info from clients.. and its work work work~~ nowadays i do not deny myself being a true workaholic.. and i am liking it.. ridiculous? weird? well thats me.. and i dont care what jealous people think of me.. i am who i am.. naturally a worker.. and loving it..
but my decision remains same.. if i cant transfer next year, i will leave.. i miss thinking accounts in an assets, liability and equity manner.. not here.. salary, bonus, dividend or whatever.. although i no longer hate it, but i know i cant be here forever.. that will mean i wasted my degree altogether.. even takin a cpa will be wasted..
just do what i can.. just try my best... just aim for the highest possible achievement.. and everything will be ok.. yes! think positive!! look forward and never backwards.. and gambate!!! =)
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