It has been so long since I last update my blog... I guess it is due to the fact that training has begun and I am like constantly running up and down, attending classes and working, worrying about my clients (well, not mine, my senior's, but I just have the habit to treat them as my own).
I have told a few colleagues about my future, that I have decided to stay and go through peak one more time before transferring to corporate tax next year, and that I will return to personal tax annually during the peak and help out.. Many of them thinks that i am silly, stupid, crazy or whatever term with the similar meaning, why do i want to torture myself like that? Yes, in the short term, I am exactly what they thinks, but what about in the long run?
Being a person with zero tax background and yet I have chosen this career route, I believe that with every single effort I invest in work, I will gain something in return, whether it is the love and respect from my colleagues and superiors, salary or acknowledgment, I trust that some miracle are bound to happen, like how i have waited for a year for a person to regret for transferring me away from corporate tax.. Maybe it will be faster increment? Bigger bonus? better prospects? whichever it is.. I will be glad, but even if I do not get any of those, I will still be willing to work both sides because it gives me an opportunity to have the best of both worlds.. I think it is magical how I can understand tax despite myself not having a formal education on it.. yes, i may have to invest more effort.. more energy.. but I believe that I can achieve whatever i want, as long as I put sufficient effort in it, and so i see it as a long term investment.
I understand that this means I am sacrificing my own leisure, but then I do it willingly, one heart and soul.. I trust that fate will lead me to the correct path.. maybe i will eventually meet someone who is my soulmate somewhere and some time in life.. If not, at least i can be independent and manage my own life without having any reliance to anyone.. I love children, then maybe I can adopt one or two if in the end, I remain single.. I dunno, based on a random tarot card reader which my mom has consulted my life in last year, I have been told that I have missed a chance to meet my other half when i was 21.. and the next time around, which will be a lasting relationship, will be when i turn 25.. hmmmm.. to believe? who knows, maybe i will meet that someone earlier.. wahhahahah...
A senior who used to be my senior's assistant told me today that i am so silly, why didnt i ever complain about the work load? she said she complain a lot when she was still an assistant, but I am like silently taking all responsibilities if i can afford it.. because i think it is worth it, i get to learn more...
I remember before i shift place, my senior seem sad.. she said when i shift place, i will forget about her, how sad she was because once upon a time, she was that friendly to an assistant like she is with me, subsequently that girl resigned and forgot about her totally, and they lost contact.. now, it has been a month plus since i shifted place, i still remain in good terms with her, but she is the one who seem like she is moving away, not me, sometimes i wonder whether she is the one who never get in touch with others, personally, i am one that will keep good friends forever and ever, and i told her about that.
I admit i improved, it seem to hurt less to see her and my twin sister getting close, after all, they are rightfully senior and junior now. But i cant help but to feel being abandoned sometimes, maybe, my time being her assistant is coming to an end soon and that means I no longer have much value to her, i am independent and i do not need that much guidance now.. i do not mind that, but what i mind about is her attitude towards me, i felt that since i changed place, she has become so cold towards me.. never before in the past year did she show me much of her temper, but recently, it is increasing and it made me feel sad... and i done nothing wrong! In her absence, i am the one who assist to manage her portfolio..
I treated her more than just a senior, she is also a friend which i am fond of.. but nowadays, i think she is treating me more and more like an outsider.. and i cant help but to feel sad about it.. sigh~~ Regardless, i know of one thing, she will never find another assistant like me, and i am sure of it.. but i will still wish her luck..
Maybe, it has come to a time which i ought to fully focus on my own future and not to think about other people's feelings and welfare...
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