dreams are....

Dreams are... what you really want to do with your life.. as individuals.. none of us are perfect, but each of us have traits that are unique to ourselves and that is what that guide us to every action and deed... like the carrot on the stick game, there is always a thing that motivates us.. those are dreams we really want to achieve, or in other words, ambitions.. with determination there is nothing no one can never do.. with hope we can achieve what we wants, with will power we are ready to undergo every single obstacle we faced, with luck we are always one step closer to our aim, because every door has a key to go with it, even if we lost it.. there is always a solution! such as a pin can solve the problem! when we get to achieve what we really want from deep within the heart, we derive ultimate satisfaction, or self actualisation as of maslow hierarchy of needs.. lol.. still have the uni student itch in me eh?

these few days, i felt as if hope is given to me and taken away again, concurrently happening... one day i got to know that 2 people will be removed from pool and the next day i was told 5.. and then the next day i was told pool remains overcapacity and the next day, a new girl whose qualification is way lower than me got into the department i so desperately want..not to say that i am arrogant about my qualifications.. but there are some things that ought to be given priority in a first job.. i prepare to see ms teh on 17th, i hope she will spare me some time and accept my explanations.. at that time, she told me that she wants to transfer me away because i am willing to learn, i do not deny, but above that, i wish to tell her that i am a passionate person, once i am doing whatever i really love from the bottom of the heart, i am able to perform better.. i really wish that she will be kind and compassionate enough to have me transferred back so that i can realise my dreams..

being in ies, of course i will never regret, i learnt a lot really.. i learnt about both technical and soft stuff.. i learnt to be independent and be on my own in irb.. like today.. been to the largest branch in jalan duta, and in total i met 6 officers all for different issues.. most are fine but the counter lady was quite rude.. from 1st to 5th to 7th to 12th and back to 1st floor in block 8A and from block 8A to block 11 on the 11th floor.. it is definitely the longest time i spent in a irb.. and the most tiring, the legs are now.. OUCH! pain.. stupid me... of all times,i choose to wear the pair of shoes with highest heels.. what an idiot i was... i went off about 9.45 am and came back close to 12.30.. wow.. that is great.. went to get something simple for lunch because i need a break before work again.. and met wica and auyong on my way back.. i guess they saw my "chan" look today.. cant help it.. walking on those heels sometimes can kill me.. and such a long distance tim.. ate in the pantry and spoke a bit to joseph.. director for cptx2..

well.. yeah, i do not hate the job in ies but unlike cptx, it seem difficult for me to create passion out of it.. perhaps.. like a love relationship, cptx had become my first love.. and i am ready to undergo all challenges to get it.. after all, i waited one year for it, it motivates me to work extremely hard to achieve it.. i still remember.. 31st december 2008 at 3.40pm.. i got called by kpmg and was offered the job.. i was so much overjoyed just to think of my return because i have made that place my second home.. but the transfer left me so confused and a little upset.. but as i had said.. no regrets.. i really learnt a lot.. maybe now i am really a JA queen hahaa..

something funny happened today noon though.. my senior was not feeling well.. and the phone keeps ringing.. we heard that the person wants to look for susan.. but he dialed the extension of 7345.. but susan went down and the phones remain non-stop ringing.. then my senior realised that he is looking for suzana.. my senior thought that she is supposed to be a chinese and asked whether it is suzana wong or whatsoever.. he said should be a malay girl.. as i have guessed earlier.. from cptx.. search for her extension and saw that it is 7435.. so that guy dialed a wrong number.. i guessed earlier because suzana sat behind me when i was a VT.. always a popular victim of fei po.. and anyway.. at this time.. despatch came for the purpose to deliver the signed form c and form r since due date is next friday.. anyway, my senior called suzana and tell her.. your boyfriend is waiting for you downstairs, get down to collect your documents.. i really laughed.. laugh until i cried.. my senior here is really humourous.. and very willing to teach and guide.. but.. as i said, humans are selfish.. i have hope to achieve my own dreams.. that means i have to turn my back from her.. which is very bad of me.. but my future is in my own hands.. if i do not achieve it.. am i wasting my life for something i was forced to accept.. if i give up on the persue of my dreams now.. i will regret for sure in the near future.. and as i emphasis time and again.. i, LING KIM LEE HATE REGRETSSSSS....

dreams are our motivators and they are meant to be voiced out and attain it by effort.. praying everyday that i will be able to be given a chance eventually.. hopefully, ms teh will be kind and compassionate enough..