appreciation

this week seems short as there are only 3 working days.. but one thing for sure, a lot happened.. and i seem to be able to know a lot of hidden things in a blink of an eye..

well.. lets talk about wednesday itself.. the previous friday, my senior told me that she had negotiate with amelia that there is no need to send her passports to klcc.. and then, what happened?? wednesday morning she came with a dark face and start to query me.. why didnt i do it, when i explain, the shock expression on her face imply to me that there may be a miscommunication between she and my senior.. and my senior is away for full day course that day.. unfortunely.. so she start spreading my being irresponsible to the entire department.. i do not care less of it.. i have seen through her that very minute..

then, by end of the day, she realised she need help to do travel schedule, she start being so sweet to me.. so i came in early the next day just to do it for her.. and amendments means that my own work for janet have been delayed.. that was what happened on thursday.. friday.. haiz.. kesian jill.. she is out from morning to do passport verification for amelia, from jalan duta to kampung attap to return passport to shangri-la hotel.. how she have been tortured.. amelia knows that with imcomplete information.. jalan duta will be unwilling to verify the passports.. but she practically have jill beg the officers.. if she is so smart.. why didnt she do it on her own?? but it did not turn out to be successful in the end and jill dont care la.. anyway her own senior is not amelia anyway..

then yesterday.. i am in such a emergency rush as well.. the u-mobile case of another senior.. partner told me to go out to cheras at 3pm.. and since the client is leaving today.. they need the tax clearance letter.. so i was send to collect it and told to go clients place to pass the letter to them.. phew.. luckily i did ok.. but it was so hot yesterday that i want to die.. i reach office only about 5.15pm.. but glad that i did it.. after that, when everyone left, leaving only me, susan and jill in office.. we start talking as partner told the three of us to plan for out trip to hike broga hill?? man.. so i am back there again?? haha..

then we eventually linked to amelia.. jill start complaining about what happened to her, she said when she photocopy the passports, amelia told her that she is going to do the travel schedule herself.. but in the end, i did it.. and then she went out for amelia.. amelia's mood is like the unpredictable weather.. and susan said she is never sincere.. she will be sweet to you when she need help and when she dont, she will show you her bad temper.. she said that no one in the department like her.. they just tolerate with her... but it is undeniable that she really can act to be the goody girl in front of partners.. work very hard and all.. thats why they like her.. but to juniors.. she treat them like dirt.. i saw it myself since i am facing her... fatimah, her junior who came in the same time as me.. did not pick up very fast, i understand that.. after all, being new, who can learn in a speed?? people learn from mistakes and i am glad that from my intern days.. my ex-senior, wica.. although she is fierce with me, but she appreciate my effort.. and wrote me a good comment, which is why i came back to the company..

but fatimah, although her learning is slower, but who can be a natural born worker especially on her first job??? chances should be given to her so that she can catch up, she is very hardworking, she stay up to 9-10pm sometimes and put her best effort.. and amelia never know.. and what happened? she scolded fatimah over mistakes commited.. so loud everyone can hear.. i feel so bad for fatimah.. amelia did not even teach her properly.. and susan said, she overheard it, she filed a complain on fatimah to partner, who said they might change another assistant for her.. and as for fatimah, there might be a risk that she will be fired.. that is too much!! what effort did fatimah put in, why did they turn a blind eye on it?? it is so unfair on her!!

that is the moment i realised.. how much i miss corporate tax environment, although i have gotten used to the work in international executive services department... and start to like it, the environment is just not the same, not what i am used to.. unlike my intern days in corporate tax.. when everyone dont talk at all during peak period but naturally, there is a feeling call home.. i felt like i understand them from deep within the heart.. its like a transparent connection, i cant see it.. but yet i can feel it.. in this current department, other than a few good friends.. and of course, a nice and cute senior, janet, middle aged edi but seem much more younger than i.. i seem to be disconnected from the rest. i missed the environment i called home but from where they put me now.. i hardly get to go there.. haizz

just hope that somewhere near in the future, this dream of mine will be realised.. to fulfil it, i am willing to sacrifice even by delaying my time for promotion.. but please.. no team 4.. thats my only hope..

challenges and sweets.. =)

These days, i have been wondering why i am under observe.. i dunno.. but it is as if from monday to wednesday, nobody seem to be bothered about me and then from thursday onwards.. i felt as if the attention is on me.. from that time i was asked to calculate std.. i felt so shy..especially when grace, my performance manager said, janet had taught you well.. i know very well that the credit goes to janet.. and i felt like i cheated.. ahahah.. but i am ever so thankful to have her as my senior.. she is a wonderful woman.. even mom said so.. and yesterday, she offered to give me a lift to mid valley.. and thus i followed.. she told me that she had always got complain because she was too lenient to her previous assistants.. but she said towards me.. she is considered as very strict.. i did not ask why.. but i felt her expectations towards me is very high.. a bit stress but i should take it as a challenge.. after all, every obstacle have to be cross over to attain success.. but she told me that when she return next month, probably from end of next month, i may have to work 7 days a week.. so be it then..

i understood now, not necessary that friends must be by your side to keep you company, so long they live in your heart and you live in theirs.. that is the most important thing ever.. i have never realised that i miss my sistas so much.. until i met part of them today.. actually it is meant to be a farewell party for chana and teng teng, but getting together, being noisy together, it is definitely something you will cherish forever.. and they got me belated birthday pressies!! how sweet, really love you guys to the very core.. my darlings..
went shopping with cinny after that.. this is the first time ever.. and she got some clothes.. and i got my shoes.. finally.. owh... i got the navy heels i set my eyes on from last month.. and they are really nice.... love them.. my darlings, we should meet up again and this time, i will try my best not to be so super duper late.. =.= .. all the best to you chana and teng teng, and those two who are not here.. giang and ruo mei as well.. =)

i was quite disappointed with my cousin.. nicole, one of my sistas, is working for her now, suling.. i have never been close to her, maybe it is due to the fact that our age gaps are too wide but anyway, i dislike her character.. her family love to boast a lot.. and they are so proud because suling married a rich man, thats how she got her own PR firm and be her own boss anyway, but she is so stingy oh my god.. she paid nicole so little, 650, and she is a graduate.. my my.. even my pay when i was an intern is more.. and she do not know how to communicate well with her employees.. how on earth she run her own business anyway under such conditions i wonder.. since employees are the greatest asset of a business... and the worse case is.. to cut cost, she actually go to the extent to ask her parents to pick up newspapers for her??? what kind of daughter is this?? stupid..

my advise to nicole is to get a better job quickly and to find out what she likes so as to attain it and so that she knows that it is worth her effort.. in fact, since she can talk... consultancy is the right job for her.. and to me.. consultancy have a bright future... anyways, no matter what my darlings, whatever jobs and duties you are at.. so long you know that you are happy, i will give you my full support.. just stay happy thats it.. love all of you to bits!!

zzzzz.....

thats how i feel now.. sleepy.... goodness knows what on earth happened to my sleeping hours, i will feel tired very early at night alright.. so i sleep early when when i woke up, very alert.. its 3.45am... so basically i have to force myself back to sleep.. which is difficult because you will start dreaming.. and that means not fully rested.. so when i actually get out of bed, after a day at work, i will be very exhausted.. again.. how i hope that this process will eventually end.. hmmm.. wonder if this means a new kind of insonmia? or just sleeping disorder.. or simply i sleep too much during weekends

this had been quite a lonely week for me.. cham lo.. if my senior is not around for one day and i am already so lonely.. what will happen to me when she is away for 2 weeks next month? will i die of boredom? or not talking at all for a duration of 2 weeks? sometimes i do wish that i am involved in tax core 1.. so i do not have to face so many matters on my own.. i know this sounds irresponsible.. but for me, my knowledge of tax is so little that it is sadistic.. and when senior is away and i am expected to undertake all the responsibilities.. i am so stressed out i want to die.. i want to cry.. sometimes i felt so helpless but who can i lean upon? if i am here for at least half a year already, and know all the stuff, perhaps it is better.. but now, undertaking all responsibilities with zero knowledge.. this is stress.. and her pairing is not exactly helpful.. maybe it is because i am not her assistant.. especially at these moments.. i miss corporate tax a lot.. although my ex-senior did leave me alone last time.. but very infrequent.. but, running away is not a solution.. so at all times, i always have to persuade myself to stay strong.. 2 years is not a long time and i am sure to be able to go through it..

celebrated yivon's birthday today.. initially want to belanja her, but ended up manager belanja pula.. apa la.. but my food came as a shock.. so much.. really pengsan.. haha.. of course, cannot deny that it is expensive la.. happy 24th birthday yivon! may all your dreams come true!! =)

ahha.. waiting for saturday to come.. =p

cant wait cant wait cant wait.. cant wait to see you girls again!! i miss all of you so so much.. although it is destinated to be part off sadly.. as a farewell to teng teng and chana who will be doing their masters in uk.. all the best girls!!

slap me twice please

Another week came and pass.. and yet another interesting week.. as i said, i hate regrets and avoiding it had been my aim from the beginning point of anything of my life.. since i have mentioned got called by client on selangor holiday on a monday.. and got shocked when i learnt of a teacher's passing had already been 2 years on tuesday.. wednesday was quite peaceful...

lets start from thursday then... i thought everything will be fine.. extension of time had been faxed and all for a client since the cheque is sent from outstation.. but.. it turns out that our dispatch is so efficient.. i tracked the document at about 1.30pm and an hour later, the document appear right in front of me.. so immediately, i proceed with the process and all for it.. then i thought of taking a break.. so i went toilet, it was about 3pm.. and the income tax office close at 5.. when i return, my senior suddenly told me to go and make the payment.. i look at her and my watch, can i made it? but still, i give it a shoot.. and happily, i did it.. luckily there were not many people.. else i will be in trouble..

when i came back to office and went to the pantry just to get some water.. i met wica.. told her about the exchanges i made with ms teh.. and that i will stay on.. and i will never regret.. she said it is a good thing, well, at least i am learning dual ways.. it is a great advantage.. and what else?? the IRB officer refer me to as Puan Lee...???!!! arghhhh... from when did i become so old???!! i dont even have a partner.. and i became a mrs?? what on earth??

had lunch with yan today.. sharing with each other.. its so nice to have someone to accompany you through all these.. i know we all can do it for sure!!

then, towards the evening, i begin digesting gross-up comp.. that is something more challenging.. like applying algebra to tax comp.. sounds complicated huh?? and now.. i got hook up!! because i haven finish it.. darn.. thats why i need someone to slap me twice.. now i really wonder if i am really a workaholic.. perhaps the answer gotta be yes.. or maybe i am a perfectionist in my own way as i want to achieve the very best, sometimes beyond my own ability as well..

Rest in peace

This blog should have been written 2 years ago but i have no idea, at all until yesterday when i flip through the newspapers after a long time.. that she is gone.. i know that she never give us students a good impression of her, because of the way she mislead people about herself.. people thinks that she is mean, not sensitive and heartless.. i know that during my year in form 4, she too created a few bombs with us, including my second week, to protect kar wai from being blamed innocently, i stood up for her and got scolded instead, now i think back, it is certainly not worth it.. i remember that time she does not allow jun sang to go toilet and answer his nature's call.. that is bad actually since this cannot be controlled.. hence jun sang is not happy about it, he went all the same and got a case of discipline against him, in the end, he went after her and she filed against him, and he got suspended from school for 2 days..

but come to think of it, is there a reason behind for her behaviour being like this? i know she dislike people calling her ms or madam or mrs, thats why she choose to take up pHd, or that is what the reason she told me to be.. i know that she did not have a happy marriage and she divorced her husband.. i know that she is not close to her daughters for different reasons, one of who married a malay and she is upset and the other had been spending too much time studying in tokyo.. but despite that, it is undeniable that she had been a great woman in the sense that she have the ability to brought up her daughters by herself, and she tried her very best to love her life to the fullest.. well, she got her final wish alright and had obtained her pHd successfully.. but shortly after that, she passed on..

and i do not know about it until yesterday.. her 2nd year annerversary.. sad in a way huh? although in the minds of many, she had not been a wonderful teacher but i still respect her, although it is a fact that i got scolded before, i hadnot been her favorite because somehow, i dunno, i felt as though as if she discriminate us who took the chinese language and i do not know why, i still remember being scared when requesting permission to take my chinese paper.. but she live a great life and strive through all obstacles of her life.. without anything to complain about, anyway, rest in peace, Dr lee poh le.. your wish came true because you worked very hard for it and you deserve it..

i am blessed

I remember, when i first came, i was so unwilling to cooperate because i was so discontent and dissatisfied of the transfer which had never been my choice at the first place.. I remember you told me that you understand and the patience you have invested upon me, sometimes i dunno how to explain, it may seem like i hate being transferred to an entire new department because i am not used to it, yeah, i dislike the idea but i do not hate it, nor will i ever regret it.. i look unwilling because i am battling myself all the time, it was like a war from my inner self.. because from the moment i left the place as a VT, corporate tax had been my one and final aim.. so when i got transferred.. i was too stunned and discontented and i really admire you for your patience..

i am so thankful that you taught me so much, trusts me so much and guide me so well in the past 2 months.. yes, i miss my job in cptx, but you taught me to adapt in an entire different environment, you lead me to understand some things can be learn despite having no background, to find myself again as a passionate worker that could give up anything in this world to try her very best.. thank you is too mild to show my gratitude.. i am so blessed to be allocated to you as my senior.. you are really a cheerful person.. a character that complement my silence.. i ought to say, when you are away for a holiday, i am really lost.. really very lost.. but based on what you taught me, all i can conclude is that, i am very well taught and i am ever so thankful towards you..

no matter how long i will be under you, all i can say, u really change me a lot.. thanks for all the opportunities given to me.. and hope i am able to help you, just to lift your burden even if it is just a bit.. thanks janet.. is all i can say, i am so blessed to be selected as your junior in an entire different department..

thanks!!

Turning 22 had been a wonderful surprise to me, everything came in a rush and a shock because i have never expected it to be like that... but before i get into any in-depth detail.. i guess i ought to review a bit about the 21st year of my life.. all i can say is that, it had been a very bumpy year for me.. i learn a lot within my 21st year.. they told me that turning adult is never easy, of course i am aware of that.. but one thing i will always cherish is the final year university of my life, with my dearest sisters.. i miss you all dearies!! but other than that, there had been a lot of challenges, and disappointments as well.. such as a great misunderstanding with a friend because i have become a bit too serious and kiasu.. working so hard in my final year for an aim to return to kpmg is already a dream came true when i received the offer on 31 december 2008, 3.40pm.. but in the end, two disappointments are associated.. one being i am only 0.2% away to first class honours and that is so upsetting.. and another.. i got transferred away on the first day of work to another department. but disappointments are meant to be overcome.. and in a way, i am proud to say that i am learning.. and suceeding.. i still have a lot to learn, which i will do my own self study.. because i will never regret it for sure.. one day in the near future, i will return to persue my initial dreams i am sure..

lets talk about being 22.. wow.. it was a lovely surprise, my facebook had never been so overloaded with comments! thank you all of you, i really appreciate your kind thoughts!! and i never expect many people to remember it.. but many does.. i have received birthday comments.. and i am ever so thankful.. thanks the corporate tax team for celebrating with me through lunch.. even sposoring it along with a cake, always love all of you and hope that one day, i will be able to join you all again.. thank you yan for bringing it up first, and hence the celebration, come find me often girl.. its good to know that you are back, we will always be friends.. and friends are meant to last forever, thats my principle.. techinical discussion yesterday had been a little hard but i always believe that, with sufficient hardwork.. i can achieve it somehow.. one day, i will grow up too.. and i am on the way.. :)

after that, yet another surprise.. and shock when boss told me to come to her room, i thought that i did something really wrong and bad.. i was actually quite scared.. then when she hand me the birthday card, i was so stunned and touched.. so my senior told her that.. i felt so shy.. i was given rm50 jusco voucher.. haha.. thanks so much!! i really appreciate kind thoughts above anything in this world.. and thanks is all i can say.. and i hope that everyone will stay happy forever.. to me, that is the most precious thing in this world.. because money can never buys it, it is immaterial.. so long we are contented with whatever we have.. nothing can ever replace it.. =)

thanks a lot.. once again..