What keep me motivated in work.. never have i thought an activity so simple yet meaningful could keep myself smiling all day long.. maybe despite how angry and upset with the fact that i have yet gotten the opportunity to return to corporate tax and the fact that i have to take be an assistant considered "independent" and will be separated from my senior, i cant help but to admit the fact that KPMG remains in my blood.. it is part of me and i love it regardless what... by writing this, i really sounds like someone who enjoyed being bullied..
I had great fun yesterday.. in conjunction with the company's corporate social responsibility activities.. we have a charity shopping hunt!! the goods will be donated to Nur Salam.. a charity home in chow kit road which house the children of that area, many who are children of prostitutes and drug addicts and those innocent, poor children do not even have a birth certificate as their identification.. and so, the KPMG Malaysia tax department collaborate with them to organise a charity shopping hunt to purchase goods for them, and they only sponsor us RM50! which means whatever extra cash we spend will be out from our own pockets and given to the charity..
It is a bit unfair really.. if you join people from the same department, no extra points, if cross departments, i think extra 5 points and if you have a partner in your team, extra 10 points.. well.. my team is the second one.. with me from international executive services, 2 from corporate tax, one from special issue group and one from japanese unit.. and there were 23 competing teams!! Gosh..
Our department actually outsource riddle professionals to create the riddles.. gosh they are hard.. we are supposed to guess what is it that they want and buy it for them.... it was so tiring, worse than working in office.. because we were discussing about it since lunch.. such excitement.. and when the results were released at night and we realised our own mistakes as well as others... it was so funny!! i never had so much fun in office in my life.. i want to remember this day forever and ever...
The answers
1) Tiger biscuit - well, they said the biscuit is something about vessels, whatever it is, and his father is an earl and he travel around a lot..
Guess what we bought, a pack of biscuit with the logo and nature and water, and since napoleon travel around the world in history.. so we got a locker brand biscuit Neapolitan flavor.. it was so funny when announced... they emphasise on us being so environmental friendly, because it is a non trans-fat biscuit! hahaha
2) Pilot G2 blue or black pens - we exchanged this answer with other teams, but it was correct! Someone got KOKO Krunch for this answer, ahahahahaha
3) Kellogg's cornflakes - We randomly select and it was right!
4) Ribena mobile drink - peach and blackcurrant - at first we suspect that it will be yogurt drink but luckily we did not buy that, cause i remembered ribena have this flavor, but it was out of stock in Jusco, and my teammates have to get that from coldstorage.
5) Buncho crayons - Stupid mistake, we bought oil pastels!!
6) Spiral notebook - This is funny, because the question mentioned knights and war.. and it is A5 in size, so we got this faber castle 36 pieces colour pencils, so expensive but definitely worth it.. LOL.. but the answer is wrong when you start thinking about it, it really is so funny..
7) Palmolive products - We got this correct!
8) Tong's garden cashew nuts - We got this right too!
9) BOH Tea - We saw others buying it, so we just buy.. and it was right! ^^
10) Ayam brand sardine - Opps we got Marina sardines
11) VICO liquid drink - Our biggest sacrifice, my teammates drove out to tesco just to get that
12) F&N condense milk - we got this right too!!
I really had fun.. our total bill was RM223.40, and we are the biggest spender, so we were awarded the most generous team and earned RM500 parkson vouchers.. hahaha.. i was so shy when walk up to the stage to get our prize..
The buka puasa dinner was not so great, but i simply love the event a lot!! =)
Today, Thursday, CJ officially started me off in Phillip Morris.. sigh~~ a client i do not want but have to take... and i have a stack of notifications to deal with on monday.. T.T .. luckily tomorrow Friday is a public holiday in Selangor, at least i have one extra day to sleep and rest..
Had lunch with eunice, wica, leechoong, auyong and jacqueline today.. miss the CPTX team, eunice, wica, leechoong and auyong are leaving soon.. probably before i get to return to CPTX.. sad sad.. i will miss them a lot for sure.. aiks!! how can i forget to take a pic with wica?? we were once senior and junior, when i was still an intern.. and still very good friends today..dang.. how can i forget?? -_-
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
LLKIM.. spill the vineger and be more alert pls!!
That is my initial... and i really dunno what to comment on myself for the past 2 days.. I have never perform that bad before and never did i experience such disappointment upon myself.. what happened to me? could it be due to these two days are rightfully inauspicious in the chinese definition?
It has been so long since I share a senior with a twin sister, since my senior's new junior share the same birthday as i, and we were born in the same year.. and i cannot help but to wonder, am i just a complete idiot or what?? i ought to be happy because my bosses looked up upon me.. they consider me independent and thats why they separate me with my senior so that she can move on training other new assistants and some day soon, i will be promoted.. although my senior and i share a relationship that is more like being friends than colleagues of senior and junior..
but the moment my twin sister came, i cant help but to feel a bit slighted and jealous.. i know i should not be so.. i had my time under my senior, who is a great one.. who is the one able to open me when i was so extremely quiet when i first came, because i am unable to put down the fact that i was not given an opportunity to present myself in the department i want and pop... i came to IES without given a choice, whether i like it or not... she developed my potential and trained me to be independent.. although yeah, i do not deny during the beginning stage, her frequent absence made me very stressed up, but that was what that trained me to learn to stand on my two feet, that was what that made me into the Kim today.. what, much to my shyness and i wish to deny, but bosses told me.. "you are more independent now" and the assistant which is far separated from her own senior although i am not the first assistant in the department.. rather, i am the youngest that report in 2009.
Think i should be proud of my own achievements, despite being someone with zero tax background.. but why am i jealous?? is it because i cannot accept the fact that i am not my senior's only junior anymore?? plus, we sit so faraway from each other now.. we cant chat as frequent as i used to.. i miss those times.. is it why i felt this way? will i be able to fight through my emotions and win the war? i surely hope so.. so LLKIM.. close up those stupid female emotions and attention seeking attitude of yours, spill those sour vinegar and be more mature please!!
maybe that emotion is the cause my downfall in the past 2 days.. i mean.. not fully downfall and i am not satisfied with my own working attitude, i made a lot of stupid mistakes.. something which i do not think it is worth being mistakes at all.. i must learn to shut out the emotions and be more alert in work..
I will achieve it somehow!! gambate!! =)
It has been so long since I share a senior with a twin sister, since my senior's new junior share the same birthday as i, and we were born in the same year.. and i cannot help but to wonder, am i just a complete idiot or what?? i ought to be happy because my bosses looked up upon me.. they consider me independent and thats why they separate me with my senior so that she can move on training other new assistants and some day soon, i will be promoted.. although my senior and i share a relationship that is more like being friends than colleagues of senior and junior..
but the moment my twin sister came, i cant help but to feel a bit slighted and jealous.. i know i should not be so.. i had my time under my senior, who is a great one.. who is the one able to open me when i was so extremely quiet when i first came, because i am unable to put down the fact that i was not given an opportunity to present myself in the department i want and pop... i came to IES without given a choice, whether i like it or not... she developed my potential and trained me to be independent.. although yeah, i do not deny during the beginning stage, her frequent absence made me very stressed up, but that was what that trained me to learn to stand on my two feet, that was what that made me into the Kim today.. what, much to my shyness and i wish to deny, but bosses told me.. "you are more independent now" and the assistant which is far separated from her own senior although i am not the first assistant in the department.. rather, i am the youngest that report in 2009.
Think i should be proud of my own achievements, despite being someone with zero tax background.. but why am i jealous?? is it because i cannot accept the fact that i am not my senior's only junior anymore?? plus, we sit so faraway from each other now.. we cant chat as frequent as i used to.. i miss those times.. is it why i felt this way? will i be able to fight through my emotions and win the war? i surely hope so.. so LLKIM.. close up those stupid female emotions and attention seeking attitude of yours, spill those sour vinegar and be more mature please!!
maybe that emotion is the cause my downfall in the past 2 days.. i mean.. not fully downfall and i am not satisfied with my own working attitude, i made a lot of stupid mistakes.. something which i do not think it is worth being mistakes at all.. i must learn to shut out the emotions and be more alert in work..
I will achieve it somehow!! gambate!! =)
Monday, August 23, 2010
All i want to do is sleep...
I have no idea, maybe it is due to having lack of sleep during the weekend, thats why i am so sleepy and blur now.. perhaps i am too used to the fact that having sufficient sleep is important.. thats why a few days of lacking it makes me more tired and blur than others...
I keep on making mistakes i know i would not have done it.. thats something sad.. this is obviously not my usual self..
It started from last friday.. i went to bed late because i was watching drama with my mom.. and got up late on saturday.. i made kar yee waited for me for 10 mins because we are supposed to go out.. and i am late.. sigh~~
It was good to see her, she just got herself a job in Ernst and Young, many congrats to her, I am so happy for her.. i am sure she will do pretty well.. also, we exchanged ideas on office environments and politics.. and we came to one conclusion.. regardless where one work, big company or small.. the most important thing is that we keep quiet.. people just simply enjoy gossiping.. perhaps you told them A, and by end of the day, it has become Z.. this is a very common situation.. so the best surviving method is to do whatever deemed to be own responsibilities and do it well.. talk less and listen more.. only grab a few best friends when you really know them enough...
She told me to join her there at EY... i rejected then.. but come to think of it now, if i cannot get back to where i want and belong, perhaps, leaving may not be a bad idea.. but when only.. when will it be the right time? i am giving the company chances until next year only.. when i reach 2 years here.. In a way, i am quite sad just to think of there is a possibility i might be leaving this place which i call home since intern days in 2008.. i remember so well, every bit of memory which gather here.. but my affinity with EY is not bad either... they actually accept my CV to be an intern there.. it is just that during that time.. i was stupid enough to send my documents vide normal post..
That very night, mom suddenly got very high blood preasure.. highest ever in her life and have to be rushed to the hospital.. I was left at home and i cant sleep due to worry.. they came back around 6am.. it was then i slept.. 3 hours and i got up to do housework.. i managed to sneak a nap in the evening, about 1.5 hours.. and on sunday and monday night, i slept only 5 hours each.. man... one thing i am happy about my sister is ending her internship this week is that, i do not have to be woken up by her alarm 15 mins earlier than my time.. and walk over to off her alarm.. she sleep so much nearer but i dunno whether she does that on purpose or not.. or she just cannot get up..
Now i really am tired and sleepy.. thats why i have been doing stupid mistakes.. dang.... wake up lee ling kim.. stop being such a sleepy head..
but.. i really wan to sleep~~ -_-
I keep on making mistakes i know i would not have done it.. thats something sad.. this is obviously not my usual self..
It started from last friday.. i went to bed late because i was watching drama with my mom.. and got up late on saturday.. i made kar yee waited for me for 10 mins because we are supposed to go out.. and i am late.. sigh~~
It was good to see her, she just got herself a job in Ernst and Young, many congrats to her, I am so happy for her.. i am sure she will do pretty well.. also, we exchanged ideas on office environments and politics.. and we came to one conclusion.. regardless where one work, big company or small.. the most important thing is that we keep quiet.. people just simply enjoy gossiping.. perhaps you told them A, and by end of the day, it has become Z.. this is a very common situation.. so the best surviving method is to do whatever deemed to be own responsibilities and do it well.. talk less and listen more.. only grab a few best friends when you really know them enough...
She told me to join her there at EY... i rejected then.. but come to think of it now, if i cannot get back to where i want and belong, perhaps, leaving may not be a bad idea.. but when only.. when will it be the right time? i am giving the company chances until next year only.. when i reach 2 years here.. In a way, i am quite sad just to think of there is a possibility i might be leaving this place which i call home since intern days in 2008.. i remember so well, every bit of memory which gather here.. but my affinity with EY is not bad either... they actually accept my CV to be an intern there.. it is just that during that time.. i was stupid enough to send my documents vide normal post..
That very night, mom suddenly got very high blood preasure.. highest ever in her life and have to be rushed to the hospital.. I was left at home and i cant sleep due to worry.. they came back around 6am.. it was then i slept.. 3 hours and i got up to do housework.. i managed to sneak a nap in the evening, about 1.5 hours.. and on sunday and monday night, i slept only 5 hours each.. man... one thing i am happy about my sister is ending her internship this week is that, i do not have to be woken up by her alarm 15 mins earlier than my time.. and walk over to off her alarm.. she sleep so much nearer but i dunno whether she does that on purpose or not.. or she just cannot get up..
Now i really am tired and sleepy.. thats why i have been doing stupid mistakes.. dang.... wake up lee ling kim.. stop being such a sleepy head..
but.. i really wan to sleep~~ -_-
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I need inspiration
I am seriously in need of inspiration... Haha.. it seems like in this world, when a person satisfied one need or want, he or she will move on to the next one... All these wants are probably in the infinity bracket.. It never ends, not even when you are a multimillionaire in this world.. somehow, human are just like that, I guess this is why there is such a thing called greed in this world.
Now that I have satisfied my need of using my brains... ( which i really realised, after you enter a class that can turn you into an absolute idiot because they treat and teach you as if you are a kid in kindergarten, my brains really become slower a bit and define things in a speed slower than before.. stupid idiot class that made me this way), now, i am in search of inspiration.
Those days, when I was in secondary school and university (wow, i cant believe that i am using the word "those days", maybe i really am getting old...hmmmm.....), i used to write stories and draw a lot, it helps to balance up my right brain, whoose function is for creativity stuff, then i can concentrate on serious stuff better than ever.. ah.. thats the beauty of human nature i guess.. LOL...
I am never much of an outdoor person, ever since young till now, maybe that is one of the reason why i got sick so easily in NS. i am not meant for too much of extreme activities.. I mean, i like mild outdoors activities, like how i got addicted to my evening walk, now come to think of it, it is also one of the source on how i search for inspiration... it feels so good when the wind blow across my face, and in my mind, are full of memories which i cherish with a whole heart and soul.. somehow, it just made me smile to myself happily and contented.. i know that sounds crazy, but something as simple as this, i think i want nothing more than that...
I remember, I used to write stories when i was in secondary, especially after I finished a taiwanese drama or during midnight, when burning the midnight oil feels dull and also during rainy nights... ah..... so nice!! after that, somehow when i am growing up, that inspiration is reducing more and more, which i also dunno why.. that was what i do during Form 5, SPM year
Uni final year, out of the blue really, i picked up designing evening gowns.. i guess it came from an all time favourite drama of mine from Taiwan.. tokyo juliet.. that time i cannot find the original so i got the pirated version, but quality is horrible.. so i cant watch a second time, until yesterday i finally found it.. so happy~~ and it is the last! complete set. selling for only RM39.90.. so happy~~~ next week i am going to get another 2 touching movies as well.. my lucky star which is related to jewellery design and starlit.. muahahaah..
I always need things and events that are touching to inspire me.. I need touching music, movies, dramas, calm scenery etc... and it seems like it has been some time since i found it, without my inspiration, i lost my creative ability, and when i lost that as well and unable to write or draw, i will lose my attention in work, lost the efficiency and effectiveness.. and that is bad because i think i live on that to boost my day to day work.
ah~~ hopefully i can find it soon... =)
Now that I have satisfied my need of using my brains... ( which i really realised, after you enter a class that can turn you into an absolute idiot because they treat and teach you as if you are a kid in kindergarten, my brains really become slower a bit and define things in a speed slower than before.. stupid idiot class that made me this way), now, i am in search of inspiration.
Those days, when I was in secondary school and university (wow, i cant believe that i am using the word "those days", maybe i really am getting old...hmmmm.....), i used to write stories and draw a lot, it helps to balance up my right brain, whoose function is for creativity stuff, then i can concentrate on serious stuff better than ever.. ah.. thats the beauty of human nature i guess.. LOL...
I am never much of an outdoor person, ever since young till now, maybe that is one of the reason why i got sick so easily in NS. i am not meant for too much of extreme activities.. I mean, i like mild outdoors activities, like how i got addicted to my evening walk, now come to think of it, it is also one of the source on how i search for inspiration... it feels so good when the wind blow across my face, and in my mind, are full of memories which i cherish with a whole heart and soul.. somehow, it just made me smile to myself happily and contented.. i know that sounds crazy, but something as simple as this, i think i want nothing more than that...
I remember, I used to write stories when i was in secondary, especially after I finished a taiwanese drama or during midnight, when burning the midnight oil feels dull and also during rainy nights... ah..... so nice!! after that, somehow when i am growing up, that inspiration is reducing more and more, which i also dunno why.. that was what i do during Form 5, SPM year
Uni final year, out of the blue really, i picked up designing evening gowns.. i guess it came from an all time favourite drama of mine from Taiwan.. tokyo juliet.. that time i cannot find the original so i got the pirated version, but quality is horrible.. so i cant watch a second time, until yesterday i finally found it.. so happy~~ and it is the last! complete set. selling for only RM39.90.. so happy~~~ next week i am going to get another 2 touching movies as well.. my lucky star which is related to jewellery design and starlit.. muahahaah..
I always need things and events that are touching to inspire me.. I need touching music, movies, dramas, calm scenery etc... and it seems like it has been some time since i found it, without my inspiration, i lost my creative ability, and when i lost that as well and unable to write or draw, i will lose my attention in work, lost the efficiency and effectiveness.. and that is bad because i think i live on that to boost my day to day work.
ah~~ hopefully i can find it soon... =)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
A week of emotions
Stunned.. worried..sad.. angry.. happy...shocked...irritated.. calm...
It had been such an emotional week for me.. To the extent which I do not know how to describe.. It all begins with my senior hinting me early last week, that I will be separated from her soon, I asked her why, she said I have become too independent.. I can solve issues on my own now.. I disagreed then, I told her, I am far from that level.. And I ignored her hint.. But perhaps I should not have, because when the plan came out the next day, I reliased that I have been allocated to a further place... initially it was just like a few seats away.. where my junior is currently sitting.. but on the revised plan.. it is really far far.. I cannot even see her when I sit.. and I have to walk one round to see her..
Subsequently, she told me that I am to be on trial on a large group of client.. not her client but the client of another colleague, who has recently been promoted to manager.. but that client remain unallocated.. and this client has been following her since it first made its way to the company, no one understand that client or hold that client before other than her and her juniors.. now they want to put me on trial on this large group, that is something astonishing! I asked.. why not her current junior? Since she came in earlier than i, and have more experience in this group aside my own zero experience.. my senior told me.. that assistant will help her with her clients.. while i will be fully in charged.. i was so sad and angry.. sad because i am no longer sitting next to her.. i will miss her jovial and humor.. and they told me i will touch her client really less.. unless it is complicated cases and Newfield, the client which i will call my baby.. I like her cases because they are complicated, and i take it as fun and challenge.. but now? what am i to do? can i say no? i cant, which is why i am angry as well..
I am worried when after lunch on thursday, she came back ill... she vomited 4 times.. and doctor said she suffered from ear imbalance.. from my knowledge of 13 months sitting next to her...she is not quite a very healthy woman.. and that is what that trained me to stand on my own feet.. the road has not been easy, but i am thankful for it.. I was so sad when the revised plan came, I asked the secretary.. why am i so far away? do they expect me to run a few rounds each day just to see my senior? giving me an opportunity to do exercise? the secretary simply said good ma! then she added that initially she did not put me there.. but nearer, it was boss' idea.. because i am independent enough.. then, we were told that all assistants will see boss the next morning..
My senior was slightly better on Friday morning, but she was very upset when she saw the revised plan.. the fact that she cannot just turn around and see me next to her, i feel the same too.. we have become more friends than senior-junior.. when boss asked us to enter her room, and asked whether we have any comment on the plan.. I hinted her by saying it is too far, and i have to run a lot to get to my senior.. She told me this is because i am considered independent and more senior than the others.. i kept quiet then...I thought she will understand.. but then she told me, mimie and veon that she will speak to the 4 seniors who are supposed to share us.. it was later when my senior told me about giving me that client.. she looks even more upset.. so do i.. when she require my help that morning and noon.. she said she realised how nowadays.. i relied so much on me.. it made me even sadder.. but there is nothing i can do.. because boss has decided..
We start moving that noon itself.. i dont quite like my new place.. i really cannot see her at all.. and the place feels smaller... not spacious.. sigh.. but i do not have a choice.. and tomorrow, a new challenge awaits.. i went home sad, slept sad and woke up on saturday sad.. i remembered what she told me on friday noon, before moving, she said she will miss me, and she hope i will not forget her when i shift place.. she said once, she had an assistant who was like me.. but when she left the co, they lost touch.. i said i wont.. even if i am back to cptx, which now i really wish i am.. but i really do not know when.. i can still drop by IES and disturb her.. i told her that to me, friends are meant to be kept forever, thats why i am so picky.. she said where can, smiling finally.. she said when i first came, i scared her because i was so quiet, as if i cannot speak at all.. i said that was because i was still holding on hatred then.. she asked whether i still have it.. i said no.. but i am still cannot call out her name, she who transferred me, in a forgiving manner..
then.. while i was sms-ing xia, my ns fren, guiding her about her future, i got an sms that made me mad with fury.. siong, a guy from my secondary school.. text me and told me that he used my name to apply for a credit card the day before.. i immediately told him i do not like it.. and have him removed my name.. which he did.. i always knew something was amiss between the two of us, ever since i met him in that vegan shop.. and he got my contact.. he kept texting me, emailing me on facebook and all.. i was pretty uncomfortable, because he practically told me everything from his personal life, his credit life, day-to-day diary and all.. then he start tagging me in love songs MVs, i am really uncomfortable.. but did not say anything, nor did i reply.. then when this came.. i exploded.. i told him off properly.. saying i am go by the legal laws and all and have him respect my personal life..
he apologized.. but another bomb came this morning, he confessed his feelings for me.. i rejected him, i hate lying, and i lied that i have a boyfriend outside.. phew~~ i was so scared man!! and also very irritated.. now, after all these are over.. i am ever so calm.. its midnight now.. i should go and sleep.. prepare for a new week tomorrow, when i am expected to face a new portfolio for the first time.. gambate!!
It had been such an emotional week for me.. To the extent which I do not know how to describe.. It all begins with my senior hinting me early last week, that I will be separated from her soon, I asked her why, she said I have become too independent.. I can solve issues on my own now.. I disagreed then, I told her, I am far from that level.. And I ignored her hint.. But perhaps I should not have, because when the plan came out the next day, I reliased that I have been allocated to a further place... initially it was just like a few seats away.. where my junior is currently sitting.. but on the revised plan.. it is really far far.. I cannot even see her when I sit.. and I have to walk one round to see her..
Subsequently, she told me that I am to be on trial on a large group of client.. not her client but the client of another colleague, who has recently been promoted to manager.. but that client remain unallocated.. and this client has been following her since it first made its way to the company, no one understand that client or hold that client before other than her and her juniors.. now they want to put me on trial on this large group, that is something astonishing! I asked.. why not her current junior? Since she came in earlier than i, and have more experience in this group aside my own zero experience.. my senior told me.. that assistant will help her with her clients.. while i will be fully in charged.. i was so sad and angry.. sad because i am no longer sitting next to her.. i will miss her jovial and humor.. and they told me i will touch her client really less.. unless it is complicated cases and Newfield, the client which i will call my baby.. I like her cases because they are complicated, and i take it as fun and challenge.. but now? what am i to do? can i say no? i cant, which is why i am angry as well..
I am worried when after lunch on thursday, she came back ill... she vomited 4 times.. and doctor said she suffered from ear imbalance.. from my knowledge of 13 months sitting next to her...she is not quite a very healthy woman.. and that is what that trained me to stand on my own feet.. the road has not been easy, but i am thankful for it.. I was so sad when the revised plan came, I asked the secretary.. why am i so far away? do they expect me to run a few rounds each day just to see my senior? giving me an opportunity to do exercise? the secretary simply said good ma! then she added that initially she did not put me there.. but nearer, it was boss' idea.. because i am independent enough.. then, we were told that all assistants will see boss the next morning..
My senior was slightly better on Friday morning, but she was very upset when she saw the revised plan.. the fact that she cannot just turn around and see me next to her, i feel the same too.. we have become more friends than senior-junior.. when boss asked us to enter her room, and asked whether we have any comment on the plan.. I hinted her by saying it is too far, and i have to run a lot to get to my senior.. She told me this is because i am considered independent and more senior than the others.. i kept quiet then...I thought she will understand.. but then she told me, mimie and veon that she will speak to the 4 seniors who are supposed to share us.. it was later when my senior told me about giving me that client.. she looks even more upset.. so do i.. when she require my help that morning and noon.. she said she realised how nowadays.. i relied so much on me.. it made me even sadder.. but there is nothing i can do.. because boss has decided..
We start moving that noon itself.. i dont quite like my new place.. i really cannot see her at all.. and the place feels smaller... not spacious.. sigh.. but i do not have a choice.. and tomorrow, a new challenge awaits.. i went home sad, slept sad and woke up on saturday sad.. i remembered what she told me on friday noon, before moving, she said she will miss me, and she hope i will not forget her when i shift place.. she said once, she had an assistant who was like me.. but when she left the co, they lost touch.. i said i wont.. even if i am back to cptx, which now i really wish i am.. but i really do not know when.. i can still drop by IES and disturb her.. i told her that to me, friends are meant to be kept forever, thats why i am so picky.. she said where can, smiling finally.. she said when i first came, i scared her because i was so quiet, as if i cannot speak at all.. i said that was because i was still holding on hatred then.. she asked whether i still have it.. i said no.. but i am still cannot call out her name, she who transferred me, in a forgiving manner..
then.. while i was sms-ing xia, my ns fren, guiding her about her future, i got an sms that made me mad with fury.. siong, a guy from my secondary school.. text me and told me that he used my name to apply for a credit card the day before.. i immediately told him i do not like it.. and have him removed my name.. which he did.. i always knew something was amiss between the two of us, ever since i met him in that vegan shop.. and he got my contact.. he kept texting me, emailing me on facebook and all.. i was pretty uncomfortable, because he practically told me everything from his personal life, his credit life, day-to-day diary and all.. then he start tagging me in love songs MVs, i am really uncomfortable.. but did not say anything, nor did i reply.. then when this came.. i exploded.. i told him off properly.. saying i am go by the legal laws and all and have him respect my personal life..
he apologized.. but another bomb came this morning, he confessed his feelings for me.. i rejected him, i hate lying, and i lied that i have a boyfriend outside.. phew~~ i was so scared man!! and also very irritated.. now, after all these are over.. i am ever so calm.. its midnight now.. i should go and sleep.. prepare for a new week tomorrow, when i am expected to face a new portfolio for the first time.. gambate!!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
my first week back in office after .......
As mentioned in my earlier blog, nothing feels so good than coming back to office.. if i like working before, then after going through that experience that traumatized me, i think i will cherish every minute of my life there more than ever.. Although the first week itself is not without challenges, but regardless, i rather face this than the mental torture of racial discrimination..
It is a mixed effect after all... some were shocked at the fact that i am back so early, when i am supposed to appear only next month.. others, on the contrary, had no idea i got out early because they felt that it has been too long since they last see me.. Laying work aside for a month really require a lot of catching up.. whew... but i try my best in whatever i do.. i know that now, cherish each day of my life to the fullest..
I did not participate in the tree planting CSR activity this year, not until this dry cough recover, it had been a month, although i am a lot better, but once i enter an air-cond room, my throat will feel dry and itchy, and i will just cough and cough, it will be worse if i ever start sweating, so it is better i dont go.. man.. that made me remember the time when i was very sick with fever, cough was very bad.. and i was forced to sleep in the medic room at night, instead of thinking me as a sick person and let me sleep the way i am comfortable in.. the teacher who is supposed to look after me ended up switch on the air cond till 16 degrees plus the ceiling fan is running at the 4th level, i was shivering and keep on coughing that night, as a consequence, i have yet another sleepless night there.. while the teacher herself is so comfortable that she snooze..
I know that the peak in corporate tax this year is terrible.. due to the high percentage of the employees tender their resignation.. i feel very bad too.. but i cannot do anything.. although my performance manager agreed to let me pursue my dreams there.. but no specified time is given.. i hope to go back soon, but i really do not know when.. so i choose not to disturb them, my ex-seniors.. until yesterday evening, when i just dropped by to say hi.. my ex-senior suddenly said she forgot that i came back, should have asked me to help her out.. sigh... wish i can.. but when? perhaps after she left the company? seriously, i cant help but still feel sad as all of them, these first seniors i know, i recognise, and who first introduce me to the firm, all of them are either leaving or had left.. sometimes, i hope that time can just be kept frozen as 2008, the year when i joined as a vacation trainee.. although i have a stable job in a different department and able to win the heart and attention of my superiors.. but nothing, absolutely nothing, beat those days.. i will miss them awfully.. after they left, will we get to meet that often again? i guess the answer has to be, we can always keep in touch.. but we wont see each other that often.. but we will always be friends.. they are my superiors.. in my heart, will always and forever be..
I admitted to the fact that eunice's and auyong's VT is my junior from university, but i do not like her, yes, she is one of the geniuses in university.. but i dislike her character.. my ex-senior suddenly got interested and asked why, she said there is actually someone i dont like.. ya, i guess i do not hate people easily.. i did not tell her really why.. not when that VT is still around.. but i guess.. since this is my private blog and not many people even know that i blog, i guess it is okay to confess here...
First thing is, she lied.. i remember when my little sister was in form 5, she studied very hard for her SPM, sleeping only 4 hours each night.. in the end, she got beautiful results, 12 A1s and was the 3rd best scorer of Wilayah Persekutuan KL.. appearing in papers and all, I am so very proud of her... this VT girl, her results was good, but not as good as my sister, the same amount of As i scored for my own SPM, 10As.. the difference is that she came from a smart school. in addition to that, while we honestly confess our family's annual income, she keep some hidden, make it seem as if she is the poorer one, hence she got the scholarship.. when actually, she is more well off than we are.. she can afford more branded things than us.. she can afford to take a trip to UK for 1 semester when none of us can afford due to the expensive currency rate.. maybe i should not dislike her for such a trivial matter.. but as a person who is as honest as the day and will not lie unless it is for the benefit of all.. i can not stand such a person..
Second thing is that, she make used of people... made used of.. us.. Well, it was like that, my sister and her, both remain as top students in university.. and both of them are receivers of the dean's award.. so the dean threw a party at his house and invited these students to his home for dinner.. it was a place which all of us do not know, but my sisters managed to find the map and made our way there.. .. being nice, we offered to send her there.. thank goodness i was at work, else i could have rip her apart.. so, we took her there.. and she, acting to be the dean's pet.. bought some expensive wine for him.. never did she offered my sister or others whether they want to share or not.. she is just an attention seeker..
not to comment anything, but in the working world.. i think lying is not good, to make things seem more serious.. people who is fond of lying, to me, are people who have ability to create fraud.. and people who like to make use.. is the culprit who will create office politics and sadness for others, just for the spite of herself.. i wonder, what will happen if she is ever jealous of the achievements of others? what will she do.. thats why i do not deem her as likable.. she is more complicated a person than she seems..
I have gotten a new handphone.. like it like it.. after a few rounds.. i am back to nokia again.. Nokia c-6.. haha.. happy happy~~
It is a mixed effect after all... some were shocked at the fact that i am back so early, when i am supposed to appear only next month.. others, on the contrary, had no idea i got out early because they felt that it has been too long since they last see me.. Laying work aside for a month really require a lot of catching up.. whew... but i try my best in whatever i do.. i know that now, cherish each day of my life to the fullest..
I did not participate in the tree planting CSR activity this year, not until this dry cough recover, it had been a month, although i am a lot better, but once i enter an air-cond room, my throat will feel dry and itchy, and i will just cough and cough, it will be worse if i ever start sweating, so it is better i dont go.. man.. that made me remember the time when i was very sick with fever, cough was very bad.. and i was forced to sleep in the medic room at night, instead of thinking me as a sick person and let me sleep the way i am comfortable in.. the teacher who is supposed to look after me ended up switch on the air cond till 16 degrees plus the ceiling fan is running at the 4th level, i was shivering and keep on coughing that night, as a consequence, i have yet another sleepless night there.. while the teacher herself is so comfortable that she snooze..
I know that the peak in corporate tax this year is terrible.. due to the high percentage of the employees tender their resignation.. i feel very bad too.. but i cannot do anything.. although my performance manager agreed to let me pursue my dreams there.. but no specified time is given.. i hope to go back soon, but i really do not know when.. so i choose not to disturb them, my ex-seniors.. until yesterday evening, when i just dropped by to say hi.. my ex-senior suddenly said she forgot that i came back, should have asked me to help her out.. sigh... wish i can.. but when? perhaps after she left the company? seriously, i cant help but still feel sad as all of them, these first seniors i know, i recognise, and who first introduce me to the firm, all of them are either leaving or had left.. sometimes, i hope that time can just be kept frozen as 2008, the year when i joined as a vacation trainee.. although i have a stable job in a different department and able to win the heart and attention of my superiors.. but nothing, absolutely nothing, beat those days.. i will miss them awfully.. after they left, will we get to meet that often again? i guess the answer has to be, we can always keep in touch.. but we wont see each other that often.. but we will always be friends.. they are my superiors.. in my heart, will always and forever be..
I admitted to the fact that eunice's and auyong's VT is my junior from university, but i do not like her, yes, she is one of the geniuses in university.. but i dislike her character.. my ex-senior suddenly got interested and asked why, she said there is actually someone i dont like.. ya, i guess i do not hate people easily.. i did not tell her really why.. not when that VT is still around.. but i guess.. since this is my private blog and not many people even know that i blog, i guess it is okay to confess here...
First thing is, she lied.. i remember when my little sister was in form 5, she studied very hard for her SPM, sleeping only 4 hours each night.. in the end, she got beautiful results, 12 A1s and was the 3rd best scorer of Wilayah Persekutuan KL.. appearing in papers and all, I am so very proud of her... this VT girl, her results was good, but not as good as my sister, the same amount of As i scored for my own SPM, 10As.. the difference is that she came from a smart school. in addition to that, while we honestly confess our family's annual income, she keep some hidden, make it seem as if she is the poorer one, hence she got the scholarship.. when actually, she is more well off than we are.. she can afford more branded things than us.. she can afford to take a trip to UK for 1 semester when none of us can afford due to the expensive currency rate.. maybe i should not dislike her for such a trivial matter.. but as a person who is as honest as the day and will not lie unless it is for the benefit of all.. i can not stand such a person..
Second thing is that, she make used of people... made used of.. us.. Well, it was like that, my sister and her, both remain as top students in university.. and both of them are receivers of the dean's award.. so the dean threw a party at his house and invited these students to his home for dinner.. it was a place which all of us do not know, but my sisters managed to find the map and made our way there.. .. being nice, we offered to send her there.. thank goodness i was at work, else i could have rip her apart.. so, we took her there.. and she, acting to be the dean's pet.. bought some expensive wine for him.. never did she offered my sister or others whether they want to share or not.. she is just an attention seeker..
not to comment anything, but in the working world.. i think lying is not good, to make things seem more serious.. people who is fond of lying, to me, are people who have ability to create fraud.. and people who like to make use.. is the culprit who will create office politics and sadness for others, just for the spite of herself.. i wonder, what will happen if she is ever jealous of the achievements of others? what will she do.. thats why i do not deem her as likable.. she is more complicated a person than she seems..
I have gotten a new handphone.. like it like it.. after a few rounds.. i am back to nokia again.. Nokia c-6.. haha.. happy happy~~
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Surprises
I think I have had many surprises although this is just my second day at work.. I cannot imagine, how 1 month can cause so much changes.. Thanks to my senior, as she did not leak out the fact that I am coming back, so my appearance yesterday was a shock to many people, including my colleagues and bosses as well as secretaries, it was actually quite fun to see that shock expression on their faces.. haha...
I was kind of surprise when I realised I am not as bad as I thought, yeap, I attended kindergarten classes aside from the physical activities, and I actually did not lose my speed, my brain did not go malfunction, phew~~ that was such a blessing.. Many of my colleagues asked what is it like to be there, when I explained, especially about racial discrimination issues, they were quite angry and disgusted, even my boss advised me to write in to complain, but I guess I will not.. Getting exempted to me is already a real blessing, while others are still fighting against time to be released, I am already back in office, doing things I love, in the environment I like.. Besides, it is the teachers in the camp that is an issue, the commander is a great and understanding person and should I make a complain, he will be the one in trouble.. Now, I am just praying hard that the officer will keep his promise and issue a certificate of exemption for me, which although I have only met him once and I was skeptical then despite he time and again promised, because I don't trust others easily.. but deep in my heart, I believed that I am being protected by Buddha and Bodhisattva.. I am a vegan and it is difficult for me to survive there, I am being blessed and will eventually, get exempted..
I was a bit disappointed though, my performance manager is ill and is not in office in the past 2 days.. hope that you will get well soon, chooi lian..
My senior and I talk endlessly, we have always been more friends than colleagues.. a relationship I will cherish forever.. My friend from corporate tax, eunice told me to join them for a charity shopping sponsored by the department and i agreed, so happy~~ looking forward to that day.. =).. but i was shocked when susan told me eunice has tendered her resignation, her last day will be 16 September, yi von's birthday.. which is also a public holiday... i ask her about it today.. and she further added that they wanted me to come back soonest possible because I can choose where I want to sit, so sad, all my seniors I used to know during my internship, wica, lee choong, auyong, they all have tendered their resignation as well..
I was actually shocked when wica and auyong took that action, because 2 years ago, before I end my internship, wica is the one who advised me to return.. and auyong said last year she find this place happier than her first company, I thought they will stay forever, but perhaps, times changed sooner than I thought.. eunice said that they are bored with the routine job, I can understand, after all, all of those who have resigned are fun-loving people who like challenges as a spice of life, routine jobs, in the long term, will bore them.. But i cant help but to feel upset.. after all, they are the first people who introduce me to the firm, and they were my first friends, and now, they have all left..
I met her while waiting for my sister.. her as in the lady who transferred me away from corporate tax last year without giving me a chance.. she smiled a bright smile at me.. I was actually a bit worried, because it seems as if she has something on her mind which no one knows, some strategy she is planning, man.. she is scary..
My boss called me into her room after lunch today, when my senior is not back yet, and gave me something.. I am actually aware of it.. but i thought everyone get the equal reward.. I hope that she is not lying, but judge by the sincerity in her eyes, I choose to believe her.. She told me that only a handful of employees get increment for the month of june.. and in case of sensitiveness and jealousy.. she said the firm only reward those who worked hard and have good performance in their jobs, and i am one of them,she encourage me to keep up the good work.. imagine my happiness and surprise when she said that, i was at first, a bit scared, wondering if i have done anything wrong..whew~~.. although my increment is not a lot, but it is still better than nothing.. so i choose not to tell anyone face-to-face, in case it hurts them.. after all, most of my colleagues do not know I blog, only my closest friends.. golly, i am so happy..
All in all, this is a day of mixture.. happy that I am back and the little increment discussion.. but i also feel sour.. when i know my first friends of the company are preparing to leave.. sad sad..
Actually, I also want to ask one thing, if you ever view this blog.. LE MINH GIANG....when are you ever going to install office communicator? and why on earth i cannot find your name? I only manage to find a few Le Minh Hang(s).. but where are you????
I was kind of surprise when I realised I am not as bad as I thought, yeap, I attended kindergarten classes aside from the physical activities, and I actually did not lose my speed, my brain did not go malfunction, phew~~ that was such a blessing.. Many of my colleagues asked what is it like to be there, when I explained, especially about racial discrimination issues, they were quite angry and disgusted, even my boss advised me to write in to complain, but I guess I will not.. Getting exempted to me is already a real blessing, while others are still fighting against time to be released, I am already back in office, doing things I love, in the environment I like.. Besides, it is the teachers in the camp that is an issue, the commander is a great and understanding person and should I make a complain, he will be the one in trouble.. Now, I am just praying hard that the officer will keep his promise and issue a certificate of exemption for me, which although I have only met him once and I was skeptical then despite he time and again promised, because I don't trust others easily.. but deep in my heart, I believed that I am being protected by Buddha and Bodhisattva.. I am a vegan and it is difficult for me to survive there, I am being blessed and will eventually, get exempted..
I was a bit disappointed though, my performance manager is ill and is not in office in the past 2 days.. hope that you will get well soon, chooi lian..
My senior and I talk endlessly, we have always been more friends than colleagues.. a relationship I will cherish forever.. My friend from corporate tax, eunice told me to join them for a charity shopping sponsored by the department and i agreed, so happy~~ looking forward to that day.. =).. but i was shocked when susan told me eunice has tendered her resignation, her last day will be 16 September, yi von's birthday.. which is also a public holiday... i ask her about it today.. and she further added that they wanted me to come back soonest possible because I can choose where I want to sit, so sad, all my seniors I used to know during my internship, wica, lee choong, auyong, they all have tendered their resignation as well..
I was actually shocked when wica and auyong took that action, because 2 years ago, before I end my internship, wica is the one who advised me to return.. and auyong said last year she find this place happier than her first company, I thought they will stay forever, but perhaps, times changed sooner than I thought.. eunice said that they are bored with the routine job, I can understand, after all, all of those who have resigned are fun-loving people who like challenges as a spice of life, routine jobs, in the long term, will bore them.. But i cant help but to feel upset.. after all, they are the first people who introduce me to the firm, and they were my first friends, and now, they have all left..
I met her while waiting for my sister.. her as in the lady who transferred me away from corporate tax last year without giving me a chance.. she smiled a bright smile at me.. I was actually a bit worried, because it seems as if she has something on her mind which no one knows, some strategy she is planning, man.. she is scary..
My boss called me into her room after lunch today, when my senior is not back yet, and gave me something.. I am actually aware of it.. but i thought everyone get the equal reward.. I hope that she is not lying, but judge by the sincerity in her eyes, I choose to believe her.. She told me that only a handful of employees get increment for the month of june.. and in case of sensitiveness and jealousy.. she said the firm only reward those who worked hard and have good performance in their jobs, and i am one of them,she encourage me to keep up the good work.. imagine my happiness and surprise when she said that, i was at first, a bit scared, wondering if i have done anything wrong..whew~~.. although my increment is not a lot, but it is still better than nothing.. so i choose not to tell anyone face-to-face, in case it hurts them.. after all, most of my colleagues do not know I blog, only my closest friends.. golly, i am so happy..
All in all, this is a day of mixture.. happy that I am back and the little increment discussion.. but i also feel sour.. when i know my first friends of the company are preparing to leave.. sad sad..
Actually, I also want to ask one thing, if you ever view this blog.. LE MINH GIANG....when are you ever going to install office communicator? and why on earth i cannot find your name? I only manage to find a few Le Minh Hang(s).. but where are you????
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