A week of emotions

Stunned.. worried..sad.. angry.. happy...shocked...irritated.. calm...

It had been such an emotional week for me.. To the extent which I do not know how to describe.. It all begins with my senior hinting me early last week, that I will be separated from her soon, I asked her why, she said I have become too independent.. I can solve issues on my own now.. I disagreed then, I told her, I am far from that level.. And I ignored her hint.. But perhaps I should not have, because when the plan came out the next day, I reliased that I have been allocated to a further place... initially it was just like a few seats away.. where my junior is currently sitting.. but on the revised plan.. it is really far far.. I cannot even see her when I sit.. and I have to walk one round to see her..

Subsequently, she told me that I am to be on trial on a large group of client.. not her client but the client of another colleague, who has recently been promoted to manager.. but that client remain unallocated.. and this client has been following her since it first made its way to the company, no one understand that client or hold that client before other than her and her juniors.. now they want to put me on trial on this large group, that is something astonishing! I asked.. why not her current junior? Since she came in earlier than i, and have more experience in this group aside my own zero experience.. my senior told me.. that assistant will help her with her clients.. while i will be fully in charged.. i was so sad and angry.. sad because i am no longer sitting next to her.. i will miss her jovial and humor.. and they told me i will touch her client really less.. unless it is complicated cases and Newfield, the client which i will call my baby.. I like her cases because they are complicated, and i take it as fun and challenge.. but now? what am i to do? can i say no? i cant, which is why i am angry as well..

I am worried when after lunch on thursday, she came back ill... she vomited 4 times.. and doctor said she suffered from ear imbalance.. from my knowledge of 13 months sitting next to her...she is not quite a very healthy woman.. and that is what that trained me to stand on my own feet.. the road has not been easy, but i am thankful for it.. I was so sad when the revised plan came, I asked the secretary.. why am i so far away? do they expect me to run a few rounds each day just to see my senior? giving me an opportunity to do exercise? the secretary simply said good ma! then she added that initially she did not put me there.. but nearer, it was boss' idea.. because i am independent enough.. then, we were told that all assistants will see boss the next morning..

My senior was slightly better on Friday morning, but she was very upset when she saw the revised plan.. the fact that she cannot just turn around and see me next to her, i feel the same too.. we have become more friends than senior-junior.. when boss asked us to enter her room, and asked whether we have any comment on the plan.. I hinted her by saying it is too far, and i have to run a lot to get to my senior.. She told me this is because i am considered independent and more senior than the others.. i kept quiet then...I thought she will understand.. but then she told me, mimie and veon that she will speak to the 4 seniors who are supposed to share us.. it was later when my senior told me about giving me that client.. she looks even more upset.. so do i.. when she require my help that morning and noon.. she said she realised how nowadays.. i relied so much on me.. it made me even sadder.. but there is nothing i can do.. because boss has decided..

We start moving that noon itself.. i dont quite like my new place.. i really cannot see her at all.. and the place feels smaller... not spacious.. sigh.. but i do not have a choice.. and tomorrow, a new challenge awaits.. i went home sad, slept sad and woke up on saturday sad.. i remembered what she told me on friday noon, before moving, she said she will miss me, and she hope i will not forget her when i shift place.. she said once, she had an assistant who was like me.. but when she left the co, they lost touch.. i said i wont.. even if i am back to cptx, which now i really wish i am.. but i really do not know when.. i can still drop by IES and disturb her.. i told her that to me, friends are meant to be kept forever, thats why i am so picky.. she said where can, smiling finally.. she said when i first came, i scared her because i was so quiet, as if i cannot speak at all.. i said that was because i was still holding on hatred then.. she asked whether i still have it.. i said no.. but i am still cannot call out her name, she who transferred me, in a forgiving manner..

then.. while i was sms-ing xia, my ns fren, guiding her about her future, i got an sms that made me mad with fury.. siong, a guy from my secondary school.. text me and told me that he used my name to apply for a credit card the day before.. i immediately told him i do not like it.. and have him removed my name.. which he did.. i always knew something was amiss between the two of us, ever since i met him in that vegan shop.. and he got my contact.. he kept texting me, emailing me on facebook and all.. i was pretty uncomfortable, because he practically told me everything from his personal life, his credit life, day-to-day diary and all.. then he start tagging me in love songs MVs, i am really uncomfortable.. but did not say anything, nor did i reply.. then when this came.. i exploded.. i told him off properly.. saying i am go by the legal laws and all and have him respect my personal life..

he apologized.. but another bomb came this morning, he confessed his feelings for me.. i rejected him, i hate lying, and i lied that i have a boyfriend outside.. phew~~ i was so scared man!! and also very irritated.. now, after all these are over.. i am ever so calm.. its midnight now.. i should go and sleep.. prepare for a new week tomorrow, when i am expected to face a new portfolio for the first time.. gambate!!