That is my initial... and i really dunno what to comment on myself for the past 2 days.. I have never perform that bad before and never did i experience such disappointment upon myself.. what happened to me? could it be due to these two days are rightfully inauspicious in the chinese definition?
It has been so long since I share a senior with a twin sister, since my senior's new junior share the same birthday as i, and we were born in the same year.. and i cannot help but to wonder, am i just a complete idiot or what?? i ought to be happy because my bosses looked up upon me.. they consider me independent and thats why they separate me with my senior so that she can move on training other new assistants and some day soon, i will be promoted.. although my senior and i share a relationship that is more like being friends than colleagues of senior and junior..
but the moment my twin sister came, i cant help but to feel a bit slighted and jealous.. i know i should not be so.. i had my time under my senior, who is a great one.. who is the one able to open me when i was so extremely quiet when i first came, because i am unable to put down the fact that i was not given an opportunity to present myself in the department i want and pop... i came to IES without given a choice, whether i like it or not... she developed my potential and trained me to be independent.. although yeah, i do not deny during the beginning stage, her frequent absence made me very stressed up, but that was what that trained me to learn to stand on my two feet, that was what that made me into the Kim today.. what, much to my shyness and i wish to deny, but bosses told me.. "you are more independent now" and the assistant which is far separated from her own senior although i am not the first assistant in the department.. rather, i am the youngest that report in 2009.
Think i should be proud of my own achievements, despite being someone with zero tax background.. but why am i jealous?? is it because i cannot accept the fact that i am not my senior's only junior anymore?? plus, we sit so faraway from each other now.. we cant chat as frequent as i used to.. i miss those times.. is it why i felt this way? will i be able to fight through my emotions and win the war? i surely hope so.. so LLKIM.. close up those stupid female emotions and attention seeking attitude of yours, spill those sour vinegar and be more mature please!!
maybe that emotion is the cause my downfall in the past 2 days.. i mean.. not fully downfall and i am not satisfied with my own working attitude, i made a lot of stupid mistakes.. something which i do not think it is worth being mistakes at all.. i must learn to shut out the emotions and be more alert in work..
I will achieve it somehow!! gambate!! =)
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